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-   -   Not sure if I can, or want to, stay in a relationship with my unstable boyfriend... (http://www.friendsandfamilyforum.com/showthread.php?t=5710)

MissB14 March 28th, 2013 09:56 AM

Not sure if I can, or want to, stay in a relationship with my unstable boyfriend...
 
He and I have been together for about 5 months. Things in our relationship started off good, but over time it has become apparent that he's mentally unstable. I've come to realize that he's a religious fanatic, and has recently started hearing voices. He thinks he can move things with his mind. He is exhausting to be around. He is in total denial that something is wrong, and he won't get help. He's not treating me with respect, or treating me the way a boyfriend should treat his girlfriend. And I'm tired of it. Even his family has told me that I deserve better. They told me that he's been going downhill the past 5 years, but it has become worse within the past 2. I don't know if I have the strength to go on in this relationship. How do I break up with him, without him going off the deep end? I've tried to end things numerous times, but he thinks I'm "the one" and always stops me from breaking up.

Thank you for your time.

LucyVanPelt March 28th, 2013 11:14 AM

Re: Not sure if I can, or want to, stay in a relationship with my unstable boyfriend.
 
You cannot control his reaction; you can only control yours.

If you know his parents or family, you may talk to them about your concerns, but no one can make him seek treatment.

You are not obligated to do anything more.

Unless you are ready to commit to a lifetime of this and worse, it is definitely time to move on. I'm sorry things have turned out this way.

KayKay March 28th, 2013 11:45 AM

Re: Not sure if I can, or want to, stay in a relationship with my unstable boyfriend.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MissB14 (Post 60503)
How do I break up with him, without him going off the deep end? I've tried to end things numerous times, but he thinks I'm "the one" and always stops me from breaking up.

I wonder if a women's abuse shelter would be able to give you advice? I'm absolutely NOT accusing him of abusing you, but I think someone who has helped a lot of women out of unhealthy relationships might have good ideas on how to end yours.

snafu March 28th, 2013 05:24 PM

Re: Not sure if I can, or want to, stay in a relationship with my unstable boyfriend.
 
I agree with Luck & Kaykay


you are NOT responsible for his choices, or his happniess - don't fall into the trap that you "have to fix/help him" - its unhealthy for you

(btw, by sticking with MR. Wrong, you may miss some good MR. Maybes, or even Mr. Right) {I actually dated a Mr. Wright ... but he wasn't :p, Mr. Right that is :rolleyes:}

evelyn45 August 14th, 2014 06:32 PM

Re: Not sure if I can, or want to, stay in a relationship with my unstable boyfriend.
 
you are the one responsible in your life. You should think about your future. You should decide if you are going to stay in that relationship or move on with your life. Think what are the possible consequences and what might be the positive effect if you choose to leave the relationship. Love yourself.


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