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-   -   Can teenagers be good parents? (http://www.friendsandfamilyforum.com/showthread.php?t=8090)

Karolina Nowicka February 28th, 2017 02:40 AM

Can teenagers be good parents?
 
If you got pregnant (or got a girl pregnant) in your teens, and abortion was out of the question, would you raise the baby (even as a single mom/dad) or put him/her up for adoption? What would you do if your teenage child found themselves in such a situation?

LucyVanPelt February 28th, 2017 06:12 AM

Re: Can teenagers be good parents?
 
Why are you asking all of these questions? Are you a pregnant teenager?

Annsdil February 28th, 2017 06:17 AM

Re: Can teenagers be good parents?
 
Everyone's situation and enviroment are different.

One pregnant teen may have a supportive family and the other not. Finances don't actually matter in this respect.

What did the teen plan to do with their life? Is the teen mature enough to take on the responsibility or willing to take on the responsibility.

I have three kids. The environment they have all grown up in is the same. But they are each very different and whilst one may take on the responsibility and work hard to do well by their own child another may not. I don't know if this is the case yet as they are too young to measure such things by but the decision for one child may well not be the same for another child.

Whilst as the potential grandma I would do my best to ensure the child is raised within the family if my child was adamant they did not want the baby I may have to respect their wishes.

Is this a dilemma you or someone you know are facing now?

Karolina Nowicka February 28th, 2017 07:44 AM

Re: Can teenagers be good parents?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LucyVanPelt (Post 83421)
Why are you asking all of these questions? Are you a pregnant teenager?

No, I'm just curious what you think. In your culture adoption is more common than in mine, besides I like gathering opinions of ordinary people. :)

Karolina Nowicka February 28th, 2017 07:50 AM

Re: Can teenagers be good parents?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Annsdil (Post 83423)
Is this a dilemma you or someone you know are facing now?

No, it's a theoretical question. Thank you for your reply.

KayKay February 28th, 2017 04:00 PM

Re: Can teenagers be good parents?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Karolina Nowicka (Post 83424)
In your culture adoption is more common than in mine, besides I like gathering opinions of ordinary people. :)

This is the second thread you have posted about this topic - single parent versus adoption - because American culture is different from yours. It is curious. Incidentally, we have posters from all over the world. :)

Karolina, I am Catholic and happen to be lucky enough to have fortunate circumstances where I could easily support a child. So in my case, abortion is out of the question. I am married and already have two young adult kids, but would raise the child as a single parent if I had to. If one of my kids were to become a parent, I would help them, financially and otherwise, raise the child because I can.

What do you think American culture is like? You have said more than once that adoption is common here. In reality, only about 1% of babies in the U.S. are put up for adoption. Many of the adoptions that occur (I think roughly 3% of all children are adopted) are adoptions by a stepparent who is married to one of the child's bio parents. I'm not sure why you consider this "common?"

Karolina Nowicka February 28th, 2017 10:38 PM

Re: Can teenagers be good parents?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by KayKay (Post 83431)
I'm not sure why you consider this "common?"

Presenting it as something beautiful. Calling it a "selfless, loving choice" for the baby. I read it many times.

KayKay February 28th, 2017 11:43 PM

Re: Can teenagers be good parents?
 
Maybe we are using different definitions of the word "common"? I am using it to mean frequently occurring. Adoption is not a frequently occurring event in the US, although it is widely accepted.

Not all teenagers who carry to term put their babies up for adoption. In fact, most don't.

In your other thread, you put out the question of which would be better, a bio mom versus a non-related couple. You said all other things would be equal.

The reality is that in the 1% of children put up for adoption, all other things are NOT equal. I'm not talking about money. I'm talking about sheer inability to be a good loving parent and fulfill all of their child's needs. There are women who are pregnant when they go to prison who know that they can't parent a child in prison. There are women who know that they can't give their baby what they want their baby to have (safety, a future, education, etc.). There are women who are trapped in bad relationships/ the cycle of poverty/ drug addiction etc. who don't want their child to be trapped too.

I believe that when a woman has a child and gives the child up out of love for the child and a desire to give it a better life than she knows she can give, it is indeed a selfless act.

There are far more babies born whose moms keep them but simply can't care for them. The US has a surprisingly high infant mortality rate. My opinion is that it is a far more loving act to place the baby in a home where it is safe than to keep it in a home where it is in danger.

Karolina Nowicka February 28th, 2017 11:51 PM

Re: Can teenagers be good parents?
 
Of course nothing justifies putting your child's life or health at threat. I would never deny it. And I know the vast majority of teenagers keep their babies. Can they give them a good life? I believe it is possible and I'm glad they decide to parent their kids.

Anyway, I was just curious what you think about teenage parents. Thanks for the reply.

KayKay March 1st, 2017 12:14 AM

Re: Can teenagers be good parents?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Karolina Nowicka (Post 83437)
Can they give them a good life? I believe it is possible and I'm glad they decide to parent their kids.

I believe it is possible too, absolutely! I know that if one of my kids became a parent I'd make darn sure that they'd become a good parent. But sadly it isn't possible in all cases.


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