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-   -   Passive-aggressive saboteur in the work place (http://www.friendsandfamilyforum.com/showthread.php?t=8511)

LucyVanPelt October 1st, 2019 05:51 AM

Passive-aggressive saboteur in the work place
 
I have a co-worker who has been P/A and sabotaging my efforts at work. Unfortunately, I can't prove it.

In the last year, this person has hidden essential materials twice, both of which could have cost me my position or at lease my reputation.

This person has taken to doing things last minute on Fridays when they are 5 minutes to being off the clock and on my day off, and needing my input immediately. Instead of communicating directly with me, they go through my secretary, and then "misunderstand" the communication, even though the person and I had communicated in writing and verbally at least 3 times before the event.

I document this, but no one in management will address it. I make it very clear when someone complains that something this person did "on my direction" negatively affects them that the person went against my clear direction and I've confronted the P/A co-worker about some of this behavior.

Just FYI-- confronting a P/A saboteur only pushes the behavior further out of site.


But what do I do?

KayKay October 1st, 2019 07:30 PM

Re: Passive-aggressive saboteur in the work place
 
I wonder if a little "Bless Your Heart" is in order? I know that's not your style Lucy, but a smile with a "Did you need help understanding the instructions?" might go a long way if the person thinks they're all that and a bag of chips.

Also, I'd email the person (cc your secretary) mid-morning Thursday with the heads up that you won't be available at 5-until-closing on Friday, that if they'll need your input for something they'll need to ask Thursday rather than waiting for Friday. Let your secretary to reply to the person on Friday afternoon "I'm sorry, as she mentioned yesterday she's out of the office this afternoon." and do nothing to help them.

Who is this person's direct boss?

LucyVanPelt October 2nd, 2019 10:53 AM

Re: Passive-aggressive saboteur in the work place
 
I spoke to his direct boss because he flat out lied, again, about talking to me.

I am not tolerant of liars. This is the third lie I caught him out.

I am not tolerant of hypocritical behavior. He complains all.the.time that people act like he has no life outside of work, but he gets very P/A when other people have a day off.

Right now, he's not talking to me. But I've come to the conclusion that he's to be pitied. He's a sad, angry person who is very jealous of others. :(

But we will be doing the "Bless your heart" in the future, detailed notes in writing, documentation!

snafu October 11th, 2019 05:48 PM

Re: Passive-aggressive saboteur in the work place
 
If it doesn't improve you may need to do like I did .... move to another location.

LucyVanPelt October 13th, 2019 04:04 AM

Re: Passive-aggressive saboteur in the work place
 
Thanks, snafu. I sure hope I don't have to move. Other than this pita, I like it here.

snafu October 13th, 2019 07:25 AM

Re: Passive-aggressive saboteur in the work place
 
Sadly, by not taking action your bosses are actually condoning the behavior.

snafu October 16th, 2019 02:52 PM

Re: Passive-aggressive saboteur in the work place
 
What I did when I worked with the "bully" years ago is that I started keeping a small journal & documenting everything. (date, time of day, location, who else was present)


...have you asked the person who used to have your job for suggestions? Word it in such a way as your communication styles aren't meshing and what worked for her.


Anyone have wording suggestions?

LucyVanPelt October 16th, 2019 06:05 PM

Re: Passive-aggressive saboteur in the work place
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by snafu (Post 87061)
What I did when I worked with the "bully" years ago is that I started keeping a small journal & documenting everything. (date, time of day, location, who else was present)


...have you asked the person who used to have your job for suggestions? Word it in such a way as your communication styles aren't meshing and what worked for her.


Anyone have wording suggestions?

Oh, yeah. She suggested that I kiss his butt, which worked for her, until it didn't. It seems everyone has this same problem with him.

I think you're right- document everything!

snafu October 17th, 2019 03:05 PM

Re: Passive-aggressive saboteur in the work place
 
Does he have any value there?

What seems to be working with middle school students, and he seems to be on the Middle School level, is to compliment them on what they do well and if they start doing better on other things too.

LucyVanPelt October 31st, 2019 10:28 AM

Re: Passive-aggressive saboteur in the work place
 
He has lots of value, but he devalues himself with all of his complaining and behavior. There are consequences to that.

Right now, someone else who had an issue with him found a work-around. He didn't like it, so he complained to this boss, the person he always complains to in order to get people in trouble. Turns out the boss approved the work-around. He's not very happy right now, but he brought it on himself.


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