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LucyVanPelt January 14th, 2019 03:46 AM

Re: Caring for Aging Parents
I am not planning on her living with us. Right now, she's still totally independent.

When she can't be independent, I hope to place her in a senior community so she's not isolated, and not totally dependent on me.

snafu January 14th, 2019 07:00 PM

Re: Caring for Aging Parents
My 2

Start looking now to see what's available, wait lists (worse than daycare), if they have a graduated care continuum, etc

LucyVanPelt January 15th, 2019 04:07 AM

Re: Caring for Aging Parents
Thanks, snafu! I'm careful not to plan too far ahead. My hope is that my mom can remain in her own apartment after she's not able to work anymore, and we'll pay the rent while we look for what she needs then.

And we'll play the lottery! We are totally surrounded by for-profit assisted living facilities and senior communities. There's no wait-list for those who have money! :D

LucyVanPelt January 25th, 2019 01:37 PM

Re: Caring for Aging Parents
This is one of the things that totally peeves me!

We are having a graduation party of YDS. I haven't sent out invitations, yet, because it was too early and I was waiting on YDS to tell me what date works best for him.

I explained that to DM that last month. When we settled on the date, I gave it to her. She acted like it was an insult to her, and said she should put her card in the mail. I told her to wait for the party.

Last week she complained that she hadn't gotten her invitation. I DIDN'T SEND THEM YET!

DM sent YDS his graduation card in the mail.

She is so irritating with her demand for attention. That's why she won't live with me.

KayKay January 25th, 2019 07:01 PM

Re: Caring for Aging Parents
Well at least she waits for an invitation! My kids have a grandmother who comes whether she's invited or not! :D

LucyVanPelt January 26th, 2019 05:17 AM

Re: Caring for Aging Parents
^^ TRUE!!!^^

Even thought this is probably a reminder that she hasn't been invited since Christmas, she is still waiting for an invitation. :D

snafu March 10th, 2019 06:14 PM

Re: Caring for Aging Parents

Mom had it in her head that I lied to her about DH washing some of her adaptive dishes while she was gone. Even when DH verified he'd washed them, she insisted (to me) they hadn't been.

My take on this is that it's a repeat of her pattern when I was a kid..... When she felt unwell, nothing I did was right.

Also, she has two recliners....a lift one in her room (that she doesn't use), and one in the living room. I suggested we swap them as she's have issues getting out of her chair in the living room....she refused. That's fine, her choice .... I was going to try again later.

DH made the same suggestion a few hours later & She immediately thought it was a good idea ..... Chairs have been swapped.

LucyVanPelt March 11th, 2019 04:40 AM

Re: Caring for Aging Parents
I'm sorry, snafu. Unfortunately, aging often brings out the bad traits more. I'm glad your DH is there to help you. She's less likely to behave badly with him.

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