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-   -   how to kick out step daughter (http://www.friendsandfamilyforum.com/showthread.php?t=7733)

KayKay February 20th, 2016 08:51 AM

Re: how to kick out step daughter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by jigar (Post 79910)
But when you jus marry with lots of dreams and a little <remove vulgarity> comes and make every dreams such a horrible life, you will hate her . pls help me how to find a solution when she turns 18 and get her out of home. help pls



(1) The little girl didn't "come" - she was already there. You chose to make her part of your life.
(2) If your dreams could be ruined by a child, your dreams were not well thought out to begin with. That is not the child's fault.
(3) "Hate" is a very strong word, and not typically used concerning children. It may be a language issue - do you mean "jealous?"

How does your husband feel about this? Is your marriage suffering because he is angry that you have such feelings about his daughter? Does he resent you?

She will leave on her own when she turns 18. You will not need to do anything to make it happen and it is very unsettling that you want to make such plots.

The only solution is for you to forget your dreams and leave your horrible life. Your daughter is legally your husband's responsibility. Legally and morally, he must provide a home for her. You would be wise to never come between them and never cause him to shirk his moral responsibility. If you feel so strongly about a 14 year old child that you are trying to figure out how to kick her out of the house when she turns 18, YOU need to leave. The problem will not automatically solve itself when she leaves the house.

She may no longer live with you after she is 18, but she will always be your husband's daughter. He will always feel love and responsibility for her, and she will always be part of his life. Eventually she will marry and have her own family and your husband will want to know his grandchildren. There will always be a connection there that your dreams can not remove, and unfortunately the more she struggles with her adulthood the guiltier he will feel for raising her in a home with a stepmother who hated her.

jigar February 21st, 2016 02:58 AM

Re: how to kick out step daughter
 
thank you , you are not in my life and you do not know how I married with my husband . we were in love and we are in love with each other . he told me she will stay with his family and will not bother us or also he told workers will help to grown up her but after marriage he did not do like that and all days she was in the middle of my life and everyday we were fighting together . now she is 14 years and I am worry about future. I cannot seperate as we have a child 6 years old and I prefer her girl goes other city for education after 18 years but I do not know how it happens.

jigar February 21st, 2016 03:00 AM

Re: how to kick out step daughter
 
I am really here to find a solution from you guys as really life without this girl was always smooth and sweet for all of us but when she is home , although she is very calm and obedient but always makes us nerves. she accept everything because she has fear of me but behind me even she hurt my own daughter . you cannot believe how quiet is she and how harmful is she . she never talks to any of us unless we say , you should say this sand that then after that she will just repeat same words to us . but behind us she is chatting with everyone . she is really hurting us.

Annsdil February 21st, 2016 03:17 AM

Re: how to kick out step daughter
 
I don't think you'll find any of us much help. If there is behavioural issues or medical issues behind it, consult a Dr or counsellor. But if the issue is that is she had bad behaviour then she is likely acting out on the hate and resentment you have for her. You wounded her from a child and as a wounded animal does; she is striking out.

You are talking to many of us who have been where your step daughter is. You are the adult and she is the child. She deserves unconditional love not animosity. You need to look at yourself first then hopefully you could actually do something nice and positive and help HER rather than be counting the years before you can "dump" her. You need to take responsibility for YOUR actions rather than blame everything on her.

KayKay February 21st, 2016 08:59 AM

Re: how to kick out step daughter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by jigar (Post 79921)
I prefer her girl goes other city for education after 18 years but I do not know how it happens.

I'm not sure why you are here asking us. This seems like more of a question for academic advisors at her school?

My two kids are in college. It was an entire process of discerning schools, applying, getting accepted, deciding among options and registering. Their high school started helping them when they were about 16.

There are forums dedicated to college admission. Perhaps they can better answer your question, so I suggest you try one of them. Our forum focuses on relationships between people.

Mrs X February 21st, 2016 10:06 AM

Re: how to kick out step daughter
 
Hi jigar, I think you should show your husband this thread, then hopefully he will understand where the hurt and resentment come from.

Knot2loud February 22nd, 2016 06:25 AM

Re: how to kick out step daughter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by jigar (Post 79922)
I am really here to find a solution from you guys...

You won't find a solution that will satisfy you from anyone here. My oldest daughter is my step-daughter. I raised her from the age of four. I made a conscious decision before I married my wife that I would love that little girl like my own and I did just that. I had no regrets whatsoever. She is now a wonderful wife to a great guy and a wonderful mother to five children (she also has a step-daughter (8yr old) and she loves that young girl). I treat her like she's my grand daughter too.

Kids are kids... You take care of them, you nurture them, you love them. It's the adults responsibility to do that. It's not an adults responsibility to dislike, ignore, be jealous or be selfish. You raise a kid right and they'll love you forever.


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