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snafu March 17th, 2018 05:55 PM

no friends IRL
Long story short- I have no friends IRL - and due to circumstances I stopped coming here and lost touch with my friends here

How do you meet people IRL?

LucyVanPelt March 18th, 2018 04:09 AM

Re: no friends IRL

It's hard making friends irl, especially when you're not feeling your best.

TBH, I have not made new friends with other people; other people have made friends with me. As an introvert, I don't go out of my way to make new friends. But, being out and about, smiling at people, and being a good listener seems to have worked in my favor. I accept invitations when they come.

I've also made it a priority to reach out to my old friends and maintain those relationships. This is something else, as an introvert, I tend to let slide. I have to put this on a calendar or else I'll forget. It's necessary, though.

asianlady March 21st, 2018 09:55 AM

Re: no friends IRL
Aw, snafu, another introvert here.
In my case, I'm usually the quiet amongst the loud ones, and the loud amongst the quiet ones (sometimes). If I'm in an event or let's say in a new job, I can just remain quiet and wait for people to approach me, but sometimes I do approach others first too especially if I sense that the other person is an introvert like me or is shy, or if the other person showed some signs that they're open to be friends with me or to talk to me. With my kind of personality, I always get along with people who like my company... even if I can sometimes be boring lol.

When it comes to keeping in touch, I admit I'm bad at it, and it's something I need to work on too. I have friends IRL. They are few but they are real ones. They're the ones I met when I was in school and when I started to work. 4 of them I feel I kind of neglected to keep in touch with and now I feel a bit worried they might think I don't want them. Will work on that tomorrow and hope I'm still in their life.

If we only live near each other I feel I might bother (term?) you, hehe. :)

snafu May 19th, 2018 12:41 PM

Re: no friends IRL
just touching base - I am going to "meetups" that sound interesting

So far I've been to two (new to me) restaurants, a farmers market, a card group, and... there are plans for a trip to a winery.

snafu June 9th, 2018 07:40 AM

Re: no friends IRL

not much happening

LucyVanPelt June 9th, 2018 10:59 AM

Re: no friends IRL
It takes time, and a few false starts.

Have you reached out to anyone? The Book Club movie is funny!

snafu June 9th, 2018 01:53 PM

Re: no friends IRL
People that I reach out to either don't respond (I know they've got their own lives) or I've been told they can't make it.

PeeWeeMomOf3 June 13th, 2018 05:56 PM

Re: no friends IRL

Originally Posted by snafu (Post 86159)
People that I reach out to either don't respond (I know they've got their own lives) or I've been told they can't make it.

Don't give up, keep trying to reach out, check on old friends. I find that there are some long, dry spells but then if I put myself out, even in a small way, either by checking in with an old friend, or getting out of my semi-introverted comfort level with a new acquaintance, things turn out fairly well.

KayKay June 13th, 2018 06:12 PM

Re: no friends IRL
snafu, do you text a lot? I find that reaching out with a text every so often will eventually end up with plans to meet for lunch or try that new gelato place etc.

About once per month I go through my list of contacts and send random "thinking of you" texts to people I haven't heard from in a while and want to see. Not everyone every month, obviously. LOL, but a handful of people who I had gotten out of the habit of talking to frequently.

JemStar June 24th, 2018 04:49 PM

Re: no friends IRL
oh, I feel ya there snafu. I lost some of mine with a divorce. He got custody since he could get them a great price on hvac!! ;)

A couple others ditched the awful winter weather and are now in Arizona!

A couple more I just kind of stopped hanging with since all they wanted to do was drink and drink and most of the places do not have organic wine.

I am a loner. The one meetup I was interested in is now climbing dunes in the hot summer sun. Um, no thanks. I do chemical peels and ahas which makes me more prone to wrinkling.

The other - in a bar...I know how to pick em right?

I have no encouraging words right now. I would love to find other organic dog lovers that stay out of the sun..but where are they all?

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