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KayKay November 4th, 2007 03:53 PM

What would you do?
I have a good friend who, unfortunately, does not have the best grammar and spelling skills. :( Not that I do, but let's ignore that for now. ;)

She is in a parent-volunteer position with my kids' school that sometimes requires that she send home flyers, notes, etc. Recently she sent one out that she showed me and asked "What do you think?" before she sent it. She showed it to me at a point when it would have been difficult for her to change things.

I read it for content, and it was fine... she said everything that needed to be said, and said it in a nice way, etc. which is what I think she was asking.

But... *shudder*... the spelling errors and the grammar... "threw" for "through", run-on-sentences, mixed tenses, misplaced commas all over, "We been" versus "We have been", etc.

I told her it was fine, and kept my mouth shut about the errors. Should I have done that?

The note was going home to other parents. It wasn't a formal document or anything that will be published. It wasn't all that important, either. It just made her come across as less intelligent than she is. I hate the thought of other people looking down on her when she is SO NICE and such a hard working volunteer.

What I don't know is how many other parents are as psycho as me about that kind of thing. :p I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to embarrass her for something that doesn't matter, and I don't know that it matters. Maybe I'm too big of a snob...

What would y'all do?

elaine November 4th, 2007 04:04 PM

Re: What would you do?

I don't think you are a snob. I don't think there is much you can do at this point, though. It appears to late to do anything now. To be honest, I'm not sure what I would have done. You don't want to embarrass her, but you don't want her flyer to end up on Jay Leno's Headlines, either. That's a tough call when it's for the school, because really, parents want to think that people involved with their children and their educations could put a sentence together.

If you think it will come up again, maybe you can volunteer to assist her next time. The truth is, when the flyers go out, she'll probably here something about it from someone, anyway. There are always people out there that can't resist pointed out someone else's mistakes.

Beth November 4th, 2007 07:35 PM

Re: What would you do?
I think I would have asked her if she minded if I made a few suggestions. Not everyone can spell or knows their grammar. I make mistakes too at times when I am hurried or frustrated. If you approach it respectfully, I don't think it would be a problem. For myself, I like it when someone else puts their eyes on something before I send it out. I often ask others to proof what I write prior to sending out for the world to read. We all need help at times. Just a suggestion.

And my spell check etc is not working on my computer. That's another problem.

1dilwhosreal November 4th, 2007 08:18 PM

Re: What would you do?
My family surprised me with a 40th birthday party this weekend-- Yeah! The central theme was a roast, BOOO! And I was most nervous because my best friend in the world was there and she knows every embarrassing thing I ever did-- mostly because she was there to stop me. I really am grateful to her because she spoke up when I was about to make a mistake. I hated her honesty sometimes at the moment, but we sure laughed about them Saturday night.

What's my point?

I think that you should correct her in the future. She may not like it at the time, but if she knows you're saying it because you've got her back, you'll be able to laugh later about it.

marwahad November 4th, 2007 09:16 PM

Re: What would you do?
i also think that its better to have a nice conversation in which u should try to correct her about this . i also sometimes do this but their is somebody who corrects me

Another Disheartened DIL November 5th, 2007 03:31 PM

Re: What would you do?
Since she asked for your input, I don't see a problem with discussing the errors. If she asked for your help and you "correct" the errors in a light hearted and gentle manner, I don't think she would have a problem with it. Instead of pointedly correcting each mistake, make a joke about how many “threws” and “their’s” there are and how it can be difficult to remember when to use each one. By taking a more “helpful” (caring) tone rather than a “teacher type” tone, I’d think she would actually be appreciative for your input.

The way I see it, either way she’d probably be embarrassed. If you pointed out the errors, she might be a little bit embarrassed in front of you. By not correcting it, she may be embarrassed by several other not so kind or tactful parents. While some people could care less (or not even notice) the mistakes, others are bothered by them and may or may not keep their mouth shut.

KayKay November 5th, 2007 05:07 PM

Re: What would you do?
Thanks everyone!

I didn't handle that situation the right way. :( I didn't mention that she e-mailed me the note, and she also e-mailed two other people at the same time. I don't know what I was thinking. :( I should have e-mailed her back, but I didn't want to insult her or embarrass her. Bad decision.

If it were one or two little errors I would have let them slide and not thought again about it. This particular note was just chock full of mistakes. She has sent out flyers/notes in the past which were of the "who cares" genre. My attitude is that anyone who complains about the work a parent volunteer is doing at the school needs to keep their trap shut or volunteer to do it next time. So back in the day when our kids were in 1st grade... well WHO CARES if there's a misspelling on a note about a Valentine party, kwim? My SM used to tell me that it's the height of bad manners to point out other people's bad manners :) and I applied that to the note when I shouldn't have. I think the world of my friend and don't think about her loose handle on the English language.

Now our kids are older (Jr. High) and there has been an influx of kids into our school from other schools. These new parents don't know my friend, and don't know that she runs a successful computer repair business and is generous and kind and a hard-worker and will do ANYTHING for ANYONE. I guess I was worried what those new people would think of my friend, but I shouldn't CARE what they think. If anyone is tacky enough to mention the note, I'll be sure to let them know all about how wonderful the author is. ;)

She must have used spell-check, but sometimes spell-check comes up with the wrong option for you. :rolleyes: I often offer to do stuff for her, but this was an e-mail that had to come from her.

The funny thing is that probably very few people will even notice the mistakes! The message was clear, and that's the point I guess. It's just me who (as HHH would say) has that stick up my you-know-what (not part of my Halloween costume! LOL)

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