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Old February 3rd, 2018, 08:01 PM
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Re: Here we go again with the step mother to be

The thing I like about you, rattlesnake, is that you are good about seeing what part you have played in the problem.

I think it's perfectly fine to stand up for yourself. Here's a question - what was hurtful and mean about the text? Was it what she said or the fact that she said it in a group text? (side note, I wonder if she said it in the group text as a "hint" to the mom and stepdad?)

I was thinking earlier about her good points. You have mentioned before that she genuinely cares for the kids (despite mistakes she makes) and that she is good for your son. I wondered about that, because it seems that the things that are good about her seem to cause a power struggle between the two of you, even though you like those things about her. It's going to be a change for you, that's for sure, having someone so (perhaps mistakenly) self-assured about her parenting, to the point of being strong-willed.

This argument with your FDIL isn't too unlike the argument you had with your DS at Christmas. Do you think that doing something that the mom had said no to and she was trying to enforce (it sounds as though with everyone's agreement) reopened that wound? Your FDIL is going to find parenting your grandkids very frustrating, I'm afraid, if she's battling with everyone the whole time.
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