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Old November 17th, 2015, 06:36 AM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Impossible MOTHER - PLEASE HELP

I see several things in your post:

Your mother undermines you with your son. That in itself should put distance between your mother and your son. If you resume a relationship with her, from now on, all visits with your son must be supervised. Visits end at the first incidence of undermining your authority.

She doesn't respect you as an adult woman with your own family. She sees your family as an extension of not just her own parental authority but of her very self. Mothers tend to do this to daughters while the sons get to run free. Sometimes it's about mom's unhappy life. Sometimes it's a personality disorder. It doesn't matter the reason because you can't fix it. All you can do is claim our own life. (For more reading: http://womboflight.com/2014/03/25/we...om-their-pain/)


She's a bully who picks on you. She has control of it because she didn't do it in front of others, but at that Bingo game, she did. Treating you like a child brought out the child in you; you lost control of your emotions and you smacked her and called her a name. She had control over that situation; she was successful in reducing you to the child she wants you to be because she knows how to push your buttons. Now that you know, you won't let that happen again.

You did the right thing in apologizing and explaining to your son. I agree with KayKay; you do need to apologize for losing control. However, this should only happen in conjunction with setting strong boundaries for yourself.

Your mother's behavior will only get worse with age. If necessary, see a family therapist, a spiritual advisor, or talk with us here. A few of us have had to face similar situations with our mothers, me included. The folks here are the reason why I'm still sane!

ETA: Disclaimer: I don't agree with the whole site mentioned above, just the article.

Last edited by LucyVanPelt; November 19th, 2015 at 04:51 PM.
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