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Old November 17th, 2015, 06:52 AM
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Annsdil Annsdil is offline
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Re: Impossible MOTHER - PLEASE HELP

I agree with Lucy. I'm another one with a similar mother. But I changed the dynamics of our relationship by working on my self. I had to do a lot of reflection about the type of childhood I had and how I'd been conditioned. You may need to do so with the help of a Therapist or counsellor. Someone who knows about transactional analysis is a good one to help with communications.

I was always been made to feel guilty and responsible for my mother in terms of her entertainment and companionship and look after her like a third child almost. Think a combination of a threen, tween and a teen all rolled into one.

Once I realised we are only ever responsible for our own happiness and lives (excepting minors), I was able to let go of a lot of guilt. I started to have the confidence to call my mother out and be honest with her and if i didn't want to do something, be able to tell her. All very politely! She didn't like the new me, hated it and rebelled against it i.e. upped her bad behaviour, but once she saw I wasn't going to go back to the way I had been, she had to adapt too.

My mother did not have a good childhood and projected a lot on to me and had to pull me down when things were going good for me. Now we have a far better relationship because I won't play her game.
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There’s one major problem with giving grandparents legal access to their grandchildren. People who inflicted verbal, physical and sexual abuse on their children are then given access to inflict trauma on yet another generation. ~ Wayne and Tamara
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