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Old November 17th, 2015, 03:47 PM
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Re: Impossible MOTHER - PLEASE HELP

Quote:
Originally Posted by jdaron357 View Post
For example, years ago she told me I needed to stop using Drain-o in the bathtub because it wasn't good for the drain. I asked her why and she just got huffy with me and got an attitude saying something along the lines of "Just because." And what that means is, she doesn't know why. She either may have heard that from someone else but didn't catch why or she completely made it up because she had been trying to convince me for months that I needed to cut my very long hair so that it would stop clogging the drain in the shower. I'm leaning towards the latter. Instead of how a normal person would reply "actually I'm not sure but I heard that somewhere so it's definitely something finding out about in case it could be a problem in the future for the pipes." she chooses to act like a 13 year old who was told they couldn't spend the night at a friends house. This is her reaction to everything, all of the time. And it's getting worse and worse the older she gets. Which leads me to the big and most recent problem. She undermines me in front of my son constantly. If I say he can't eat junk food ll day and has to eat his vegetables or he can't get up from his plate, she will scoff, roll her eyes at me, and tell me that it's fine for him to eat junk food and not eat ALL of his vegetables and she does this RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM.
I only addressed the current state in my post because I wasn't sure if you accepting her behavior was all in the past, but to build on Lucy's and Anns' and Mrs X's advice, here are specific ways I think you can address situations such as the above which will take your mother's power away.


Your mom: blah blah blah Drano blah blah ruin pipes blah blah
You: Okay. Thanks for letting me know. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there. (then continue using Drano in the bathtub as if your mother hadn't said anything.)

Your mom: blah blah cut your hair blah blah clogs drain
You: I'd prefer to deal with clogged drains than cut my hair, so no. (change topic)

Your mom: It is FINE for your son to eat junk food and not eat all of his vegetables!
You (to your son): Silly grandma. She doesn't know much about nutrition, does she? It's a good thing that you and I listen to what your doctor tells you to do.



(P.S. Just an aside... Drano "back in the day" - as in your mother's time - used to be bad for pipes, and frequent use was not recommended. Nowadays, the company claims the formula is safe for pipes. My daughter has really long hair also, but I have a little plastic snake I use. It is very easy to use (easier than Drano in my opinion), less expensive, environmentally friendly and works better (in my opinion). Something like this: http://www.lowes.com/pd_161219-72906...11480006357729. I keep it with my bathroom cleaning supplies and use it every time I clean her tub. It keeps her tub drain running clear. Just FYI. )
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