View Single Post
Old January 27th, 2018, 09:04 AM
nickj820 nickj820 is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 5
nickj820 is on a distinguished road
Re: Help, need assistance and guidance, please. Mother in law.

Originally Posted by KayKay View Post
I'm so sorry for your loss, nickj820.

The thing you have to do is step back from your cloud for just a moment and realize that your daughter will soon be at a point where she will move out of your house. Maybe she'll go to college, maybe she'll get a job and her own place. Whatever she does, it's a NORMAL transition. And to top it off, it's your ticket out of living with your mother in law.

You tell your mother in law that the arrangement was always intended to be temporary, and it is reaching the jumping off point. When your daughter becomes an adult (at age 18) she will start making plans for her own future that may or may not include living at home. As such, you are making plans for your future (buying a small home which won't have enough room for her) and in addition, you do not feel comfortable with the way it looks for you, a widowed male, to be living alone with a woman.

Of course she'll turn it around on you and say you are abandoning her. You just have to stay strong and realize that you have already done more for her than most. You can help her figure out where she can go or what she can afford, but you do not have an obligation to financially support her.

Does she have any other children?
Thank you for your condolences, yes my daughter, when she is an adult has already pre-planned in her head ideas that she wants to succeed at. The home I will be buying in the summer will contain a room for her to always stay in if need be. With losing her mother it altered what her plans were, but I always encourage her don't be afraid to do what you think is right, it's your life and nobody else's. Even after 2 years of my wife being gone I still have some struggles of being both parents in the sense, I do my best as any parent would when they're faced with the same situation. This is the type of things I'm looking for. What you said in your response, thank you. As for her other child they do not talk really, he is and has been an addict for a long time. He is not stable he has a few kids and is not with any of the mothers. Her other child also has resentment for the way that my mother-in-law did a lot of things when they were younger, and rightfully so from what my brother-in-law and my wife have told me, the stories matched up to a Tee also. He's in and out of the hospital also with medical conditions which I was hoping he would resolve and remedy his life so that he can help his mother. His issues can be controlled if he accepted what's happening but he does not he lets himself go. I as a person know that we help one another, but I have always believed there is a line when enough help is enough. As stated I love that woman, but I can't live with her it doesn't work any longer.
Reply With Quote