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Old January 1st, 2016, 07:21 AM
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Annsdil Annsdil is offline
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Re: I need another opinion

Either he was the victim of an emotionally abusive relationship, or he is over compensating in his relationship with his son, or there is something else he is either fearing or trying to evade responsibility of. Whatever the reason, he is not being honest with you and unless he does your relationship is on a very rocky foundation to be thinking of marriage.

My ex went the opposite way. Introduced his girlfriend and her kids immediately to ours. My kids got pushed out completely. Any possessions and even their room in his home got hijacked by the gf's kids. (Not gf kids fault!) This lead to a breakdown in the relationship between the ex and our kids. Even though I tried to help facilitate it (the relationship not the breakdown! ) His priorities were clearly about impressing the gf. It's taken 2 years to get to a point where there is some relationship now. BUT he started putting it on the kids after being engaged to this woman that if it would make them feel better, he would finish with her. That was not the point for any of us. It wasn't about him finishing with the gf in order for a relationship with the kids. It was about the very short time they spent with Dad, they just wanted to spend it with Dad. What he did outside that was up to him. Eventually, he finished with gf using the kids and I (who had not had any remote interest in his life for a few years! ) as the scapegoats. I.e. he told her he had to end their relationship because of me and the kids. He just didn't want to take responsibility for the fact that he himself no longer wanted to be in a relationship with her.

Now I'm not saying at all that that is what is happening with your bf. It's just an example of where other parties may be seen to be involved but are actually just being used as a means of avoiding something else.
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There’s one major problem with giving grandparents legal access to their grandchildren. People who inflicted verbal, physical and sexual abuse on their children are then given access to inflict trauma on yet another generation. ~ Wayne and Tamara
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Last edited by Annsdil; January 1st, 2016 at 07:25 AM.
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