[Ohmysoul1234]

Hi, trying to give a brief background on our situation, my mom came to live wih me and my husband and our daughter 2 and a half years ago. The reason she came to live with for both of us’s good. My mother had been living with my abusive father for 30 years and she had no way out. I know she wanted to leave but she couldn’t for many reasons (fear of revenge to herself and to her family etc.) also she’s very passive person and fear changes blah blah okay . Also, me having no other family around and having to work with my daughter so young I needed some help. My dad physically couldn’t be where I was so it was a perfect chance for her to leave him without worrying about him finding her and hurting her , also she kind of had an excuse (“she had to help me”). Anyhow, it was great at first. Even though I had been away from her since I went to college and now I have my own family and a lot of things have changed, it seemed to be fine. I exactly don’t remember when we actually started having issues. It would be a lie if I say I didn’t foresee this because I know growing up, I never got along with her and in my teenage years I would always argue with her and stuff like that. So I even mentioned casually, before she came, what if we don’t get along and can’t live together and she said then I will just go back but we will be fine. Lol yea .. not fine at all. My mom’s been very controlling and very naggy and I am an almost 30 year old grown up woman. She always nagged so much and wanted everything in her way when I was growing up , like some other person even say it to her face not to do that when she saw what my mom was doing to me. So we had some ugly arguments and yellig and all that since she started living with us. What I can’t stand is that I bring up something because it’s just not right what she does and she goes all into about because I hate her so much so I just treat her like that blah blah. I honestly think thay she feels guilty being here because she has no income at all and I basically take care of her. She’s from forein country so I had to pay a lot for her to even have a basic insurance . So she thinks that I hate her for those reasons .. I honestly feel a little burdened.. it would be a lie if I didn’t but I don’t hate her for those reasons I just can’t stand her because of her behavior.I basically got her out of that horrible situation like he was physically abusing her every day and she couldn’t get out herself but she always makes a big deal about she had to quit her job to come here because I told her to come and it’s just been ridiculous. I wouldn’t have had her come to live with me if her living situation was fine and my mom and dad were in a healthy relationship. From my standpoint I made this decision more for her not for myself or our family. Even though it was tough without any help, we are grown up people and we would’ve been just fine. But I can’t even mention anything like this because the reason she came here is for us. She doesn’t seem to appreciate the fact that I got her out of that situation otherwise she would be still suffering. I’ve been so tired lately that she’s so controlling and her being around just doesn’t really do good for me and my husband’s relationship because her having no sense of privacy and stuff and she was just draining me. We had a big fight today because her nagging has been out of hand recently and I have been holding it for awhile, it kind of started with me asking her what she’s gonna do if she has to go back to her country (because my husband’s job, if we go overseas or something) and she just snapped at me right away saying I’ll be fine! Do whatever you want to do! I know you want me to go back and don’t want me around anyways! Ugh.. I was asking because I really didn’t know what her plan was with no income and my dad still being there and stuff.. and it just all got ugly. I told her I don’t hate her because she’s here and she’s a burden (which she thinks is the case) and it’s just been hard because she’s been very controlling and her behavior has been hurting me. But of course she doesn’t admit that she is controlling and she sees nothing wrong with her behavior and she just does not understand anything . She’s just always right and yea it’s just ugly. Even though I still love her because she’s my mom I don’t know how long I can stand her being around me. I almost want to hear from somebodyelse outside family that she’s wrong so she can realize but she’s the person that’s always right and nothing is wrong with her. I just want to hear how our situation looks like to others and want to find out if I’m the one whio’s wrong? I’m just so lost and confused. And I don’t know how to tell her to leave without hurting her . Because she takes it really hard and thinks that I’m a bad ***** to her already. I just have so much anxiety with her I can’t control my anger toward her when she does this. I need to end it soon and also make both of us happy.