Thread: I need ideas!
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Old May 8th, 2008, 11:00 AM
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nonnymouse nonnymouse is offline
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Re: I need ideas!

I think it would be overstepping if you pressed to make something you want for her 'from the kids'.

They are having their own experience of their mother and grandmother that may not be exactly what you perceive.

The 12 y old will probably have some good ideas you can help with. But if not helping them do whatever is genuine from them is good. Kids have cheesy ideas sometimes, it might be fun for them to get your help to carry them out. I didn't catch the ages of the other kid(s). If 12 yo feels comfortable talking with you about the grandma and mom situation she might have something very meaningful in mind that you could help with that you couldn't have thought of yourself. Just helping is a gift in itself IMO.

From yourself but maybe with the kids help: Honoring your friends time with mother in law with a memory book or photo album or way to record conversations with mother in law before she is gone would be a great way to show respect for your friends desire to spoil and appreciate mother in law. Your friend sounds like someone who would get a lot out of that. This is probably her MILs last few weeks/months and helping her not have regrets is super supportive IMO.

And she and MIL may not think to go out and get tape recorder or even rent a video camera etc. and put down some of MILs family stories but you could facilitate that for them. Or record grandmas comments about photo albums filled with pictures of the grandkids (or her own kids) even.

There are also fill in the blank style books that ask basic questions about your life story, that might be an idea too.

If you want to help the kids do something that is really from them but is something you chip in on money or time wise that might be great. But let it be a gift from all of you and no denying its from all of you not just the kids. Does that make sense?

I think it is great that you want to do something special for your friend.

Last edited by nonnymouse; May 8th, 2008 at 11:07 AM. Reason: clarify
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