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Old February 27th, 2014, 01:30 PM
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Re: Advice on how to handle in-law situation

First and foremost, negotiate your own relationship with your in-laws rather than worry about what's "fair' and "not fair" concerning your husband's sister. She has different issues in her life than you do. Plus, and I know this sounds odd, but your in-laws actually think MORE HIGHLY of you (that you and your husband are capable and have your act together) that they can ask you for financial contributions or errand running. Your husband's sister doesn't sound like an adult at all; your in-laws are probably really frustrated by her but don't know what to do other than enable her.

If you are living at your in-laws, you are adding to the bills they need to pay and should be helping contribute to the household in some way. Grocery money, utilities, chores - whatever works for you. It sounds like you are fine with that. Maybe the answer is to come up with an amount you should contribute every month to the household expenses, and that way your in-laws won't feel taken advantage of and neither will you.

I understand that you don't want to have to answer to your in-laws about where you are going or what time you'll be home, but it is polite to at least let them know when you'll be coming home. Not so much asking permission, but just letting them know "If you hear someone coming in the house at 3:00am, don't call the cops. Just go back to sleep." Your finances are none of their business, but maybe they feel they have a right to stick their noses in because they are helping you so you can save up for a house? They aren't right, but that might be their mindset.

How soon until you get to move out of their house?
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