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Old September 2nd, 2017, 03:00 PM
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Re: Parents Money and brother

Originally Posted by summeron View Post
The irony of this is, my father is a lawyer specialized in inheritence law. Growing up I always heard him talk about how many times he had seen families torn apart because of money coming between parents and their children, and between siblings at inheritence time. Indeed my own father was disowned (as the only child!) but managed to reach a settlement with my grandmother (30 years ago).
Welcome, summeron.

If your father is a lawyer specializing in inheritance law and has seen families torn apart, my guess is that he has chosen the wisest path to prevent that. He will have followed the letter of the law and made an airtight will expressing his wishes. Think of it this way -- it is his final way of communicating with you if you have cut him off.

As far as your brother and the real estate business, you have to think about what a family business entails. Your father has probably spent the last 12 years training your brother in how to run it, and your brother has earned your father's trust. Family businesses usually have a succession plan -- how the business will continue after the retirement or death of the founder. Please don't take this as any judgment of you on my part, but your father made a business decision to turn over the business to the child he thought most likely to continue it successfully. My father had built a business before his death, which he turned over to my sister. It was the right decision, as my other siblings and I weren't qualified to run it.

I know this isn't a source of comfort for you, and for that I am sorry. Maybe this will help -- if you had realized 12 years ago when you stopped speaking to your parents that you would have to live without the money, would you still choose to stop speaking to them? Just an fyi - I have two siblings I don't speak to so I understand the choice to do that. Whatever the reason you chose to remove them from your life (dignity, self-care, whatever), isn't that more important than money?

Consider your father's money as shackles you freed yourself from.
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