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Old September 19th, 2007, 12:29 PM
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DH has detached from ILs....

Last Christmas - my DH and I sent "gift certificates" to both FIL and MIL - stating we would give them $100 toward a visit to see us - - - -

My FIL laughed and blew it off.

MIL booked a visit for when DH wouldn't be here - without discussing her trip plans with us at all - and then got all pouty because we asked her to change her trip to a weekend that would work better for us... she just canceled and complained, "But I already took my vacation days... I can't change them." to which my DH said - "Oh well..."

Right now - we are in the middle of the busiest time of our year - soccer season - 4 kids playing ball on different levels - 1 kid on 2 teams - 1 kid managing another - teenagers refereeing - you get the idea...

SO..

I turned to DH and said - "You know - if they want to see the kids - "in action" now is the time - they can go to games, practices, fall concerts for music - you name it - the kids are doing it - - - you should invite them for October..."

DH said, "Yeah right - they won't come.... hell, SILR is *****ing that we don't go there - but when asked to come here - she says she and her family are saving money to go to Hawaii with her BIL & SIL that she sees every ****ing weekend... My "family" doesn't want to have a relationship with us - unless it is totally at our expense... F*** THEM...."

Alrighty then...
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Old September 19th, 2007, 12:36 PM
1dilwhosreal 1dilwhosreal is offline
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Re: DH has detached from ILs....

Well, I guess you didn't have to ask him to clarify.

I'm never sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing when they realize their family of origin is a problem. I imagine it must be heartbreaking. Be extra kind to him this week.
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Old September 19th, 2007, 01:19 PM
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Re: DH has detached from ILs....

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1dilwhosreal View Post
Well, I guess you didn't have to ask him to clarify.

I'm never sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing when they realize their family of origin is a problem. I imagine it must be heartbreaking. Be extra kind to him this week.
ditto to that, id follow his lead tbh, his family his decision, he knows them best after all.
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Old September 19th, 2007, 01:22 PM
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Re: DH has detached from ILs....

Believe me - this is something we won't be re-addressing... he can choose if he wishes to establish and maintain contact....
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Old September 19th, 2007, 01:43 PM
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Re: DH has detached from ILs....

I think I'd be doing a little dance all over the house if I were in your shoes, 1DH. Crack open the champagne and celebrate your freedom!

Cheers to having a husband with a backbone!
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Old September 19th, 2007, 01:48 PM
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Re: DH has detached from ILs....

Believe me -

If he didn't have bouts of guilt - - I would be dancing... they are a hateful, hurtful bunch...

We've been married 19 years - and the ILs have been digging this grave for a very long time...
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Old September 19th, 2007, 01:57 PM
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Re: DH has detached from ILs....

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1DH+4Kids=Happyus View Post
Believe me -

If he didn't have bouts of guilt - - I would be dancing... they are a hateful, hurtful bunch...

We've been married 19 years - and the ILs have been digging this grave for a very long time...
This should make you happy then (it certainly would if my DH realized this same thing about his family). But I can understand that you don't want to be all thrilled if he's feeling guilty. Maybe you can at least secretly celebrate in your mind.
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Old September 19th, 2007, 01:59 PM
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Re: DH has detached from ILs....

I have moments of happy dancing...
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Old September 30th, 2007, 10:25 PM
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Re: DH has detached from ILs....

OK - I spoke too soon.....

For the past week or so - of course - after DH has finally issued the I have had enough edict - FIL called - and has decided to redeem his Christmas coupon... looks like we'll be having company for a few days.

I am making a list of parameters - to protect myself - and our children.

FIL will not be allowed to be alone with me or the kids ever.

DH will need to take the entire length of his dad's stay off - - - so he can always be with the kids and I.

The kids will have to continue going to school - and I will continue going to work.

I am going to go have an anxiety attack now...
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