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Old October 2nd, 2007, 12:01 PM
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DH Threw me under the bus...

Update on the pending FIL visit.

When the coupons were made - I made it very clear that any IL was NOT welcome to stay in our home. HOTEL ONLY - - -

DH comes home - tickets are booked - WE paid for the tickets totally with our points - points that were supposed to be used to buy ME a ticket to go see DH at school. Points now pissed away on FIL.

NOTE: Prior to DH booking tickets - I told him FIL was NOT to be left in our home unattended. I also told him that I would NOT go fetch FIL from the airport - and that the week DH has chosen isn't all that great as DH has jury duty... but - who the **** am I???

FIL arrives on 10/18 at 10:30 - I asked DH - how is he getting to the area? DH: Uh - I guess he'll have to take the shuttle. OK - what is he going to do for 5 hours between arriving - and going to the game? Um - he'll think of something...

DD has soccer game for HS night of FIL arrival - we won't get back to the house until after 9 - kids will have to go straight to bed.

Where is FIL staying? At a hotel? NO - DH informed me that FIL will be staying in our camper - as he is too financially strapped to stay in a hotel for 5 nights. (I AM LIVID.) DH feels this is the best compromise because then we all can have our own space...

What is FIL doing Friday? I told DH he was NOT allowed to "hang around our house" while we weren't there. Of course FIL has no where to go as DH is STILL on jury duty... (last day).

I am so pissed - my DH threw me under the bus again.
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Old October 2nd, 2007, 12:15 PM
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Re: DH Threw me under the bus...

Is this the same man that always comments on how sexy his daughters are and who "hit" on you? Honey, I am completely floored. I just wish there was some real, practical advise I could give you, other than to make DH sleep in the camper with FIL.
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Old October 2nd, 2007, 12:16 PM
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Re: DH Threw me under the bus...

im sorry hon
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Old October 2nd, 2007, 12:27 PM
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Re: DH Threw me under the bus...

Quote:
Originally Posted by grubby View Post
Is this the same man that always comments on how sexy his daughters are and who "hit" on you? Honey, I am completely floored. I just wish there was some real, practical advise I could give you, other than to make DH sleep in the camper with FIL.
grubby!! Don't post stuff like that!! Here I was all upset on 1DH's behalf and gettin' my ire up, and then you go and make me LOL.

I second the "DH sleeps in the camper with FIL".

1DH - I'm sorry about your DH. He clearly wasn't thinking it through, was he? So what's the purpose of FIL's visit? To "see the kids in action"? Heck, rent him a car with a GPS and tell him to meet you places.

And, btw, do you have a campground where the camper can be parked close by? I'm thinkin' it might be more comfortable for him if he didn't have to go in and out of your house for bathrooms and showers, plus it would be more peaceful and relaxing...
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Old October 2nd, 2007, 12:34 PM
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Re: DH Threw me under the bus...

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Originally Posted by KayKay View Post
grubby!! Don't post stuff like that!! Here I was all upset on 1DH's behalf and gettin' my ire up, and then you go and make me LOL.

I second the "DH sleeps in the camper with FIL".

1DH - I'm sorry about your DH. He clearly wasn't thinking it through, was he? So what's the purpose of FIL's visit? To "see the kids in action"? Heck, rent him a car with a GPS and tell him to meet you places.

And, btw, do you have a campground where the camper can be parked close by? I'm thinkin' it might be more comfortable for him if he didn't have to go in and out of your house for bathrooms and showers, plus it would be more peaceful and relaxing...
You know - --- we could put the camper at the state park - it is about 8 miles away... hmmmmmmmmmmmm
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Old October 2nd, 2007, 12:42 PM
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Re: DH Threw me under the bus...

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1DH+4Kids=Happyus View Post
You know - --- we could put the camper at the state park - it is about 8 miles away... hmmmmmmmmmmmm
Oh!! Well!! I'm sure that, uh.. it would um, you know, be more CONVENIENT since the state park is ahhhh... closer to, ahem, most of the "activities" that uh, y'all are doing. Right?
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Old October 2nd, 2007, 12:45 PM
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Re: DH Threw me under the bus...

Quote:
Originally Posted by KayKay View Post
Oh!! Well!! I'm sure that, uh.. it would um, you know, be more CONVENIENT since the state park is ahhhh... closer to, ahem, most of the "activities" that uh, y'all are doing. Right?
Wishful thinking - but I am on the verge of throwing the largest hissy fit on my husband...

and if we put him in the camper - we'll have to give him a car....
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Old October 2nd, 2007, 12:50 PM
1dilwhosreal 1dilwhosreal is offline
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Re: DH Threw me under the bus...

I don't know enough about your situation to offer some concrete advice.

I do know that my DH would never allow his DF to step foot in our home after saying what he did to me. He would be polite if we bumped into somewhere or if MIL called, but he won't hang out with him.

Why did your DH do this? Does he feel he has no other choice? Is a power thing to show you're not the boss of him? His motivation is the key to resolving this issue.

And I'd seriously consider taking the kids for a 5 day trip to Busch Gardens while DH entertains FIL.
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Old October 2nd, 2007, 12:58 PM
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Re: DH Threw me under the bus...

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1dilwhosreal View Post
I don't know enough about your situation to offer some concrete advice.

I do know that my DH would never allow his DF to step foot in our home after saying what he did to me. He would be polite if we bumped into somewhere or if MIL called, but he won't hang out with him.

Why did your DH do this? Does he feel he has no other choice? Is a power thing to show you're not the boss of him? His motivation is the key to resolving this issue.

And I'd seriously consider taking the kids for a 5 day trip to Busch Gardens while DH entertains FIL.
GUILT -

That is why DH is doing this..

FIL called earlier this week and was throwing guilit - he wanted US to go to WI to visit them... (ain't gonna happen) - because "he wanted all his family to get together before he died...."

DH & I - last December - had told both MIL & FIL that we would like to host them - we would give the $100 toward their trip (which DH now F'd that up as he used points and not $$ - so now MIL will expect us to pay for her trip in full too...) When DH & I talked about this originally - it was under the proviso that the ILs NOT stay in our house. HOTELS ONLY.

So as FIL is waxing about and laying on guilt - DH says - "Hey - why don't you come here and use your coupon?" FIL plays the I don't have $$ card - I can't stay at a hotel - so DH offers the camper...

I told DH he had to fly in on Friday - due to DH having jury duty - "But FIL wants to see L play in her HS game...he HAS to come Thursday..."

DH is trying to show FIL a grand time - and have a great bonding experience - at the expense of my sanity.
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Old October 2nd, 2007, 01:09 PM
1dilwhosreal 1dilwhosreal is offline
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Re: DH Threw me under the bus...

Okay, so your DH feels this need to give FIL a grand time to assuage his guilt.

So, you can fight about it or you can "help" him with this. If you opt to fight, you'll both be miserable and that's not good.

So help DH. That means schedule the daylights out of both of them. Have any friends or family that can help? See if you can arrange to have a friend pal with FIL while DH is at jury duty. Take him out to a local museum or something.

Don't let FIL go with you to the game because you are way too loaded with the kids and the gear and stuff. DH is responsible for this. Find out what kinds of things are going on in your area those few days and do them, or suggest DH and FIL do them. Heck, send them to the local sports bar to watch college games. That's good for about 5 hours.

And make that camper as comfy as possible so they do stay out there. Load it with food, drinks, hook it up to electric for a TV, etc. He might just love it out there.

You will want to tell DH that you're going to help him, with one caveat: One rude comment and FIL is on the next flight back, no questions asked. When it's all done, your DH will owe you one, whether or not FIL makes it all 5 days.

(BTW, my ILs used to keep overnight guests in their camper, too. It just was in the heart of South Philly. It can be done.)
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