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  #11  
Old February 28th, 2017, 12:07 AM
Karolina Nowicka Karolina Nowicka is offline
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Re: What would you choose?

The question is: is it better to have one bio parent or two adoptive parents?
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  #12  
Old February 28th, 2017, 12:39 AM
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Re: What would you choose?

"All things being equal" would mean that the biological mother (or father, for that matter), like the adoptive parents, has no barriers to successfully raising a child and wants that child. If the biological mother/father is a fit parent and wants to keep her/his child, it is illegal for that child to be adopted.

My belief, backed up by no definitive proof, is that ordinary people would not put the child up for adoption for no particular reason.

Are you wondering if there's a stigma in the U.S. associated with being a single mother? Or are you wondering if the child suffers from not having two parents? If it's the latter, LucyVanPelt and Annsdil have answered that.
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Old February 28th, 2017, 01:18 AM
Karolina Nowicka Karolina Nowicka is offline
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Re: What would you choose?

It would be awsome if you just answered the question, what would YOU choose.
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Old February 28th, 2017, 01:55 AM
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Re: What would you choose?

I can only answer for me, from my perspective as a married mother of two who had no barriers to raising her children and got immense fulfillment out of doing so. I would choose to keep a baby.

I can't answer your question, really, because I can't imagine the scenario you have given us. Why would anyone who can provide for the child and wants the child give up the child unless they thought the child would be better off somehow?

Giving up a child for adoption is a brave, selfless act if doing so gives the child a better life. I'm confused though, because in your scenario the only difference was a single bio mom versus a married couple. And as Annsdil said, you can't measure the quality of a child's upbringing based on single parent versus unrelated couple.
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Old February 28th, 2017, 02:18 AM
Karolina Nowicka Karolina Nowicka is offline
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Re: What would you choose?

If we were obliged to place our children for adoption just to give them "a better life", all single, poor and young people (like teenagers) would have to do it, because having mature, wealthy, married parents is better than having one, poor and underage, don't you think? Yet to some of us blood ties and maternal love may mean more than opportunities. I think placing a child is a TRAGIC choice, not a heroic one, and I pity women who are forced to take this route. Personally I wouldn't place my baby even if I were very young and abandoned by everyone. I would do it only to rescue the child's life or health.

But that's not the point what we would do as parents but what we would choose as children. I read many times on various sites that a child needs a mom and a dad so adoption would be advisable (I admit, these were Christian Websites or belonging to adoption agencies). Hence my question.
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Old February 28th, 2017, 06:11 AM
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Re: What would you choose?

I was raised by my biological single-mother. I have a biological sister who was adopted and raised by a couple. She is so loved and so blessed; there is nothing tragic about it. Neither of us got a choice; we were infants. As adults, we both acknowledge that the right choice was made for us. So you see, it's a complicated decision. Both are loving, and honorable decisions if the child's needs are being met.

If you have a personal opinion against adoption, then don't do it.
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Old February 28th, 2017, 07:51 AM
Karolina Nowicka Karolina Nowicka is offline
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Re: What would you choose?

I meant, it's a tragic decision for a woman. I hope your mom is at peace with it.
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  #18  
Old February 28th, 2017, 08:54 AM
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Re: What would you choose?

She is. She was at peace with it the moment she decided to give my sister up for adoption, and that peace was confirmed by my sister's happy upbringing And keeping me and my siblings as a single mother has also been a source of peace.
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