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Old April 7th, 2017, 11:51 AM
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Cremebrulee Cremebrulee is offline
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My Son & daughter-in-law

Hello every one, hope this post finds you all doing well and ready for Spring.

I won’t cherry coat anything…

my son left his wife, about 2 months ago.

It came as a great shock and with great sadness when he told me. It was difficult at first….like a hole inside.

He didn’t get into why or she did this or that….he just said he couldn’t take it any longer and it is an amicable separation and she felt the same way.

He still goes over and takes care of things for the girls at the house, and said he will help them remain there, b/c it is the right thing to do.

He moved into an apartment and spends all his time off with his daughter.

He did say that he and his wife, are getting along fine…and working well together thru all of this. Of That I am glad.

While they all seem good with what is going on, inwardly it is very hard to take and I don’t know why?

I do love her, we made amends, and while it surely wasn’t what I wanted, her lead was respected.

I did call to reach out, to tell her, I’m there if she needs me, but she didn’t answer and didn’t phone back…wasn’t going to mention anything about the separation, just wanted to let her know that I was there for her if need be.

I’m thinking she doesn’t want to put me in the middle of things? Whatever her reasons, I understand & do not hold any animosity or anger. Just sad.

I’m sure she felt there was nothing to discuss…and respect that, what could she have said? Not much. Me either. I will miss her.

Trying to remain upbeat and allowing time to heal, but I will sorely miss her and feel bad for all of them.

Their daughter seems also fine with it....they've talked it thru and she is very close to both of them. I'm certain it hurts, but they are both investing great off time with her.

I know she and I didn’t see eye to eye, for a long, long time, and we surely had our differences but I still love her and will miss her a great deal.

Time will heal and I know it’s all going to work out, but the hard part is knowing she will move on…often times (more times than not) wished so much, we could have been closer…so sad and hard to let go.

It all could be a lot worse….I know there is much he isn’t telling me, but it’s none of my business and quite frankly I don’t want to know. Sometimes I ponder if he is pretending for my sake? 18 years has got to mean something?

It’s just so hard to believe that she will gone from my life…never to see her again?

Be well! Wishing you all a Happy Easter.

Last edited by Cremebrulee; April 7th, 2017 at 11:55 AM.
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Old April 7th, 2017, 03:11 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: My Son & daughter-in-law

Crème, I am so sorry to hear that. I know your heart must be breaking. One of my friends went through the same thing last summer - her DIL divorced her son, and the DIL/MIL genuinely loved each other from day one. The DIL called my friend and told her how sad she was, that one of the worst things about divorcing was that she was losing her husband's family, which she loved. It was tough for my friend, to go through her own grief but hide it from her son whose grief was deeper and took precedence.

Are they divorcing for sure? Or just separated for now, trying to work things out?

There's no rule that says you can't keep in touch. She is, after all, your granddaughter's mom.
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Old April 7th, 2017, 06:37 PM
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Re: My Son & daughter-in-law

(((hugs)))

Your relationship with her will change and it will take some time for both of you to adjust
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Old April 7th, 2017, 07:01 PM
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Re: My Son & daughter-in-law

I am very sorry for all involved. (((hugs)))
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Old April 8th, 2017, 10:33 AM
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Re: My Son & daughter-in-law

Quote:
Originally Posted by KayKay View Post
Crème, I am so sorry to hear that. I know your heart must be breaking. One of my friends went through the same thing last summer - her DIL divorced her son, and the DIL/MIL genuinely loved each other from day one. The DIL called my friend and told her how sad she was, that one of the worst things about divorcing was that she was losing her husband's family, which she loved. It was tough for my friend, to go through her own grief but hide it from her son whose grief was deeper and took precedence.

Are they divorcing for sure? Or just separated for now, trying to work things out?

There's no rule that says you can't keep in touch. She is, after all, your granddaughter's mom.

Hello, and thank you so much....I'm so sorry for your friend, it is tough..

I don't know about divorce, they are separated at the moment....I don't ask questions...and yes, the door will always remain open for my DIL, she is a very good mother...
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Old April 8th, 2017, 10:34 AM
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Re: My Son & daughter-in-law

Quote:
Originally Posted by snafu View Post
(((hugs)))

Your relationship with her will change and it will take some time for both of you to adjust
Yes, snafu, I'm certain....but you also never know? thanks for the hugs and kind words. Hope your doing well
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Old April 8th, 2017, 10:34 AM
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Re: My Son & daughter-in-law

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Originally Posted by LucyVanPelt View Post
I am very sorry for all involved. (((hugs)))
thank you Luc, hope all is well in your world, sending hugs....
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Old April 10th, 2017, 10:47 AM
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Re: My Son & daughter-in-law

That's sad. I hate to see and hear about things like this happening to couples, the children involved and family.
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Old April 11th, 2017, 06:35 AM
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Re: My Son & daughter-in-law

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That's sad. I hate to see and hear about things like this happening to couples, the children involved and family.
Thank you Knot, greatly appreciate your thoughts...and yes, agree...
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Old April 11th, 2017, 04:49 PM
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Re: My Son & daughter-in-law

I'm sorry to hear this Creme. Yours was what I'm sure many of us old timers would consider a success story in how difficulties between you and your son/DIL were turned around into a lovely relationship.

Keep doing as you're doing, offering support and no judgement. She probably doesn't want you to feel put in the middle of herself and your son. Nor does she want to put you in the position of taking sides. It sounds like they are also trying to handle everything correctly in the interests of their child which is always a good thing. In time I'm sure she'll come to you if you keep your door open for her.
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