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Old December 29th, 2017, 12:01 PM
Happymom1025 Happymom1025 is offline
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Brother In Law Issue

About 2 weeks before Christmas my brother in law who is my husbands brother reached out to my husband about a photo blanket gift he wanted to give their Mom for Christmas. My husband clearly let me know that my BIL was really upset because the project went wrong.
It seems the photo that my BIL submitted I was left off how it was arranged. Was i hurt by this? Yes my feeling were hurt since there was no mention that it would be replaced.
On Christmas day when the gift was given to my MIL I quickly scanned the blanket to see if maybe it was a new one and I was still not on it.
So here is the twist, I have a 20 year old son from my previous relationship and he was not on this blaket either. Here is twist 2, the photo that my husband told me was arranged in error I was never originally in this photo of my husband and our 2 year old son because I have a copy of the photo. Everyone else in the family is on this blanket. My husbamd does not see what the big deal is or why I have hurt feelings. Should I express this to my BIL?

My MIL has hung ip this blanket so now everytime I walk into her house its the first thing you see. I cry everyday after picking up my 2 year old on the way home because it really hurts that me nor my son is not on it.
My BIL also has a step son and he is included on this blanket.
I would not feel bad had my other son been on it since we have been together/ married for 10 years.
Any advise would help please

Last edited by Happymom1025; December 29th, 2017 at 12:07 PM.
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Old December 29th, 2017, 01:37 PM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Brother In Law Issue

You are really hurt because you are excluded from this blanket. Although BIL said he was really upset because something went wrong, the error was not corrected. In addition, the photo they used didn't include you or your son, so it seems you are purposely excluded. And MIL has hung this up so you are reminded every day that you were excluded from this blanket.

Does your MIL watch your son? Is that why you see it everyday?

How is your relationship with your MIL? Does this blanket, and excluding you, reflect how the family treats you in other ways?

Is is possible that your BIL is just clueless? For example, DH asked me where I wanted to go for lunch today. I handed him a gift card that applied to 6 places near us. He put the gift card in his wallet, and took me to some other place far away. While I'm tempted to think DH is an inconsiderate and hurtful jerk who just took my gift card and ignored my suggestions, the truth is that he couldn't think past "lunch." I know it's not personal; the women who work with him complain about the same thing-- he just can't hear over his own ideas. Perhaps your BIL can't see past how wonderful the idea of the blanket is to see that it is hurtful because it excludes you?

Last edited by LucyVanPelt; December 29th, 2017 at 01:43 PM.
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Old December 29th, 2017, 03:53 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: Brother In Law Issue

I'm confused about the blanket. Was it just one photo? Or a collage of a bunch of different photos?

Why were you not in the photo (the one of your husband and 2 year old) in the first place?
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Old December 29th, 2017, 09:46 PM
Happymom1025 Happymom1025 is offline
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Re: Brother In Law Issue

This is a collage of pictures of everyone in our small family so everyone else is in the pic but not my oldest son and me.
My husband will take selfie pictures with him and our 2 year old at randome times that is why I was never in this particular picture that my husband said i was cut off from due to position error.

Last edited by Happymom1025; December 29th, 2017 at 09:52 PM.
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Old December 29th, 2017, 10:27 PM
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Re: Brother In Law Issue

Well, your question was whether you should express this to your BIL.

My answer to that depends on what you want to have happen. What will help make you feel better? Do you want MIL to remove the blanket from display? Do you want BIL to buy another one to replace it?

Also, I'm curious about the answer to LucyVanPelt's question - how is your relationship with your ILs otherwise? How do they treat your 20yo son?
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Old January 2nd, 2018, 07:40 PM
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Re: Brother In Law Issue

Hope I'm not poking the bear, but who gave the pictures to your brother-in-law? If you sent the pictures yeah I'd be a little upset with the brother-in-law, but if it was your husband yeah
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