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  #11  
Old October 2nd, 2008, 10:19 PM
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HisHeathenHoney HisHeathenHoney is offline
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Re: It's so sad.

I dread this day with my own kids, when they catch on to family reality and I have to explain, "it's nothing to do with you, my wonderful children, your FIL is just a major jack***. But you still have to show respect."

It would be easier (in one sense--your path would be clearer) if it was a GP that you personally loved and respected but who had some annoying quirk of age--like telling the same story over again. You would feel firm in your resolve to impress upon your children a sense of duty and respect for family regardless of how agreeable they seem to you at the moment in youthful egocentricity. But MIL isn't playing along by being a decent grandma. You have mixed feelings yourself in wanting to avoid dealing with her, naturally it makes your path a lot harder to choose. You also don't want to teach your kid that you have to put up with absolutely anything from family just because they're related.

I don't have any great advice. Just sympathies. It's your MIL who loses out most, from being so out of touch with a wonderful girl who probably would have learned to love her, if MIL could have been bothered. We say that about my FIL, he loses out on some great kids and grandkids. And yes, it is sad. But ultimately, not so much for us as for him.
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  #12  
Old October 28th, 2008, 09:24 AM
Black Box Black Box is offline
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Re: It's so sad.

Your MIL created the relationship with her granddaughter that she now has: one in which her granddaughter doesn't want to receive birthday wishes because grandma is such a pill.

It's not 'kids today'. My kids LOVE talking to their grandmother (oldest is 18, youngest is 8). It's your MIL and the fact she can't seem to develope good relationships with others. Her loss.

I would not push my daughter into talking to grandma, especially since grandma uses emotional blackmail and punitive measures against people who displease her, or against the associates of people who displease her. It seems like you might inadvertently be pushing DD into the crossfire of someone else's duel with MIL.
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  #13  
Old October 24th, 2009, 11:59 AM
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Re: It's so sad.

Another year, another diss from GM.

Once again, FIL made the birthday call to DD. We were out when he called, so he left a nice message on the machine. MIL... not a word. She had called DS last summer for his birthday, of course.

This year, FIL also called DH for his birthday. DH called MIL for her birthday. I wonder if anyone will call for my birthday? (It's okay if they don't... I don't expect them to call me if I don't call them, kwim?)
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  #14  
Old October 24th, 2009, 06:13 PM
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Re: It's so sad.

I'm sorry that your MIL is missing out on what could be the best relationship of her life. I wonder if she'll ever realize how much she's lost.
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  #15  
Old October 25th, 2009, 04:20 AM
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Smile Re: It's so sad.

'm sorry this hurts you KayKay...her loss at the end of the day
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  #16  
Old October 29th, 2009, 02:06 PM
maura
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Re: It's so sad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KayKay View Post
Another year, another diss from GM.

Once again, FIL made the birthday call to DD. We were out when he called, so he left a nice message on the machine. MIL... not a word. She had called DS last summer for his birthday, of course.

This year, FIL also called DH for his birthday. DH called MIL for her birthday. I wonder if anyone will call for my birthday? (It's okay if they don't... I don't expect them to call me if I don't call them, kwim?)

That's rotten.

((((kaykay)))) I'll call you!!
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