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Old July 29th, 2011, 09:24 AM
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Grandchildren living with grandparents

Is it selfish for me to not want my grandson to live with me?

DD is very immature for her age - 21. Being evicted from her apartment for the third time in as many years.

Baby father's grandmother has agreed to take baby (two and a half years) in for a few months while my daughter and her ex (baby father) get back on track.

Part of me is feeling guilty that I did not offer.
Part of me feels I have raised my kids and I am done. My husband and I (both on our second marriage) made the choice when we got together not to have children and I feel it is unfair to him to raise someone else's child when we never had our own. Also we both work at least ten hour days and some weekends and would honestly have no time for a child.

We do spend time with our grandson whenever we can and will be contributing diapers, clothes etc.. to the other grandmother while she takes him in.

I would feel different if something (god forbid) were to happen to her and the baby father but because you do not want to man up and become an adult, I do not feel I should be put in a bad position.

I know there are alot of people who for whatever reason have taken in their grandkids and I totally respect that - I am sure it was a very difficult choice.

Looking forward to the thoughts out there
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Old July 29th, 2011, 09:48 AM
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Re: Grandchildren living with grandparents

I think that you're doing exactly what is best for the child, which is by definitiion not selfish. If you work 10 hour days and don't have a necessarily supportive partner (I'm not saying your DH is unsupportive, I'm just saying that he's not absolutely insisting that you take the baby in), you are not going to be able to give a 2 1/2 year old all that he needs. I think it's very wise of you to recognize that. I think the fact that you are going to be contributing and seeing your grandson when you can shows that you are willing to help. It's smart to not commit to more than you'll be able to do.

I think also you're doing what's best for your daughter. It's important that she learn to clean up her own messes.
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Old July 29th, 2011, 10:53 AM
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Re: Grandchildren living with grandparents

I agree, you're doing what's best for the child. Definitely contribute and visit as much as you can.

I'm thinking you may want to keep receipts and records just in case anything bad were to happen, but I tend to be pessimistic like that.
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Old July 29th, 2011, 12:05 PM
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Re: Grandchildren living with grandparents

I'm a grandparent. I don't see anything wrong with the choice you're making. Besides, you're still contributing.
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