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  #1  
Old February 14th, 2014, 03:29 PM
searain searain is offline
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Who can you trust?

How do you know you can trust someone? My ex and I were raised in the same faith, both interested in education, both workers, youngest of 3 (if you believe in that as being relevant). Four days after we were married the lies and broken promises started. Totally a reversal on his part. Now DD is getting divorced from a person we all liked. They were highschool sweethearts and after 13 years parents of 2 kids. He is changing right before our eyes from the nice man we know and love to an absolute idiot. She asked me how she was ever going to trust anyone again. I couldn't help her because I certainly won't trust anyone myself.
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Old February 14th, 2014, 04:08 PM
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Re: Who can you trust?

That's really sad. I don't know the answer, sometimes you just have to take care of yourself.

Your son-in-law is maybe going through quite a lot emotionally at the moment. Hopefully he will heal and in a year or so will be back to the guy you know.
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Old February 14th, 2014, 04:20 PM
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Re: Who can you trust?

To answer the question, I'd say no one. There isn't any person in this world that I would trust to never hurt me or fail me. And I don't trust myself to not make bad decisions, either. But where there is a desire to work through the pain and a willingness to forgive, real healing will come.
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Old February 14th, 2014, 04:46 PM
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Re: Who can you trust?

I Will have to agree with Lucy, There is really no one you can fully put your trust in. all thought I put my trust Jesus Christ. We are all human and we make bad decisions and choices through our lives. I l know I have made some bad choices and decisions.
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Old February 15th, 2014, 08:38 AM
searain searain is offline
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Re: Who can you trust?

(Your son-in-law is maybe going through quite a lot emotionally at the moment. Hopefully he will heal and in a year or so will be back to the guy you know.) Mrs.X.

Thanks for reminding me of that. He has had a lot of deaths in his family in the past two years and I think the last one, his grandpa, was just too much for him. He comes from a very close family but they are the type to ignore issues and push things under the rug.

My DD knows this but still she doesn't deserve to be treated the way he is treating her. And I worry about their kids. The 4 yo boy will see that is how to treat a female. And the 2 yo girl may subconsciously feel that is how men are supposed to treat her.
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Old February 15th, 2014, 09:23 AM
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Re: Who can you trust?

How your Dd responds to how your Sil is treating her and the kids is how they will learn treat others or accept tretreatments from others. They can learn from her that you can't control how others behave or what they choose to do. You can only control your own actions behaviours and choices.

This comes from being in a similar position to her so I do know its hard.
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Old February 17th, 2014, 10:00 AM
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Re: Who can you trust?

Having gone thru the same experience - getting married only to find out just weeks later what a lying, despicable idiot he was - I advise EVERYONE to get a total background check on anyone you think you are becoming "serious" with - that would include WORLDWIDE criminal, financial and personal background check before you trust what they tell you about where they grew up/family, went to school, degrees, employment history, financial status/credit, previous marriages, political alliances, mental health, etc etc etc!!! Trust NO ONE except yourself to be on the upandup about who they are and what they really want from you.
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Old February 17th, 2014, 11:23 AM
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Re: Who can you trust?

There are still people who will remain under the radar. They can look like they have glowing credentials in all areas and still end up being bad people.

At the same time one can end up trusting no one and then miss out on relationships with truly special people.
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Old February 17th, 2014, 11:45 AM
searain searain is offline
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Re: Who can you trust?

Quote:
Originally Posted by PRB View Post
Having gone thru the same experience - getting married only to find out just weeks later what a lying, despicable idiot he was - I advise EVERYONE to get a total background check on anyone you think you are becoming "serious" with - that would include WORLDWIDE criminal, financial and personal background check before you trust what they tell you about where they grew up/family, went to school, degrees, employment history, financial status/credit, previous marriages, political alliances, mental health, etc etc etc!!! Trust NO ONE except yourself to be on the upandup about who they are and what they really want from you.
Applaud! Applaud! However my marriage was before computers so that wasn't an option.
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  #10  
Old February 19th, 2014, 05:38 AM
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Re: Who can you trust?

Everyone is going to be hurt by the one closest to them - more than once. The difference to me is forgivness. If they ask to be forgiven, then it falls one the one who was hurt to forgive or not to forgive. If they forgive and the person doesn't change the habit or behavior or worse - even try to change. Then Houston has a problem. A real problem.

It's funny... Sometimes my wife will get upset with me and say: "You think you're so perfect." At least she used to say that. She quit when I surprised her by playing the tune: "Oh Lord It's Hard to be Humble" on my harmonica. She couldn't help but to laugh when I did that.
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