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Old November 22nd, 2012, 08:45 AM
Primchul Primchul is offline
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Is it possible to stop bf from cheating?

I have been with this guy for almost 4 years now. We met when we were both really young and we were really close. He even went on a 3 weeks holiday with me and my family. Last summer he also went away with me for a month.

We hit a bit of a rough patch two years ago, but we got back together. We finally got into a really good place together but then around autumn last year, I found out he had cheated on me with this girl for 4 months. I really didn't know what to do since it was in the past.

It really hurt me because he had called her by the same pet name, told her he loved her. All the lot. He was doing this while promising to be faithful to me.

It's an awkward situation, since if I had found out at the time, I would have been able to talk to him, fought with him or whatever and then we would either break it off or try to make it work. Since i found out about a year after, i really didn't know what to make of it. I decided to give him a second shot (cause i was stupid) since i really liked him and thought maybe we could make it work.

He apologized and tells me he can change and that he can remain faithful, however, recently i found him messaging other girls and hiding the conversations. I only found out when we were in a group call (Skype) with friends and the girl messaged him, he ignored it, i went to get a drink and when i came back he had hid the conversation).

I decided I wasn't going to just shrug it off and let him screw me over again so i decided to check his Skype, turns out he's been flirting with two other girls. NOW, girls have jealousy issues, its normal when you really like someone. But this was x's hearts and all kinds of things. He tells me all the time that he doesn't want me to talk to other guys. He checks my fb, my email and my phone every day. not healthy.. But then I find him doing this? What should i do?

ps. I was a bit of a roller coaster ride at the beginning of the relationship since i was never really in a serious, committed relationship before, but when we got serious i was faithful to him.

Last edited by Primchul; November 22nd, 2012 at 09:13 AM.
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Old November 22nd, 2012, 09:03 AM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: Is it possible to stop bf from cheating?

Wow - I don't have much time to post, but I had to reply to this.

There are red flags all over this. His flirtations wouldn't be so bothersome if he didn't care if you flirted. He checks your fb and is basically insecure with you because he knows what *he's* doing.

I think it's possible for your bf to stop cheating, but he has to be the one to WANT to. You can't stop him, he has to stop himself. The fact that he had the same pet name for her that he had for you is a sign that he's skilled at this (doesn't want to mistakenly call you the wrong name!). The fact that he has told you all about this, like it's no big deal, and expects you to accept it because "it's in the past" doesn't tell me that he is ashamed of his behavior and ready to change.

Run for the hills Primchul.
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Old November 22nd, 2012, 09:30 AM
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Annsdil Annsdil is offline
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Re: Is it possible to stop bf from cheating?

ITA with KayKay.

You can't control or change your boyfriend or his choices. But you are in total control of your own choices. You can choose to stay with a cheater or find someone who is worthy of your love.
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Old November 22nd, 2012, 01:14 PM
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snafu snafu is offline
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Re: Is it possible to stop bf from cheating?

I'm thirding what they said
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Old November 24th, 2012, 11:13 AM
Primchul Primchul is offline
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Re: Is it possible to stop bf from cheating?

Thank you guys so much for all the reply it is appreciated
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