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Old September 12th, 2019, 01:47 PM
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Cremebrulee Cremebrulee is offline
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Re: Unwanted Gifts

Originally Posted by snafu View Post
I didn't want to hi-jack Ladylove's thread.

My Pseudo IL's give me gifts & I don't want anything from them - but I've not told them that either I don't want to hurt my DH but is there a nice way to tell them?

Basicly, anyone who treated me as they have is not my friend. If it weren't for DH I'd have nothing to do with them. The councilor has said that I need to forgive, but I do not have to trust or respect them - those are things that are earned. My DH still wants us to be a family - its not going to happen unless I can get over the feeling that she (PseudoMIL) was "the other woman" that about destroyed my marriage (yeah- I do blame DH too- I'm trying to move on, but he wants me to be friends with "the other woman" {PMIL} and Pseudo FIL.)

(for the backstory read my Pseudo IL thread)
I know how you feel, and the older we grow, the less patience we have for people like this, unfortunately, these are your in-laws and your outlook about not wanting to hurt your hubby, shows how selfless you are.

Have you ever tried to counsel with them and your hubby together? I'm just offering something that is probably impossible, but it might help you....you can forgive but you will never forget when someone treats you so badly.

Maybe the gifts they are giving you are their way of saying, "We're sorry". Although it's not right, when it would be so much easier for them to sit down with you and say, we know we hurt you, and we hope that someday down the road you could forgive us for what we did. That I believe would be the best gift you could receive from them.

Hugs to you....
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Old September 12th, 2019, 09:04 PM
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snafu snafu is offline
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Re: Unwanted Gifts

Hi Cream

Burried somewhere in my old posts is the story of what happened when I suggested counciling.

The short version is that I deserved the treatment, she wasn't responsible for her own behaviour.
once burned, twice shy

He who ignores history is condemed to repeat it!
(it also means you weren't smart enough to learn from your mistakes )
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