Go Back   Friends and Family Forum > The Family Forum > In-laws

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #41  
Old September 12th, 2019, 01:47 PM
Cremebrulee's Avatar
Cremebrulee Cremebrulee is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 962
Cremebrulee has much to be proud ofCremebrulee has much to be proud ofCremebrulee has much to be proud of
Re: Unwanted Gifts

Quote:
Originally Posted by snafu View Post
I didn't want to hi-jack Ladylove's thread.


My Pseudo IL's give me gifts & I don't want anything from them - but I've not told them that either I don't want to hurt my DH but is there a nice way to tell them?

Basicly, anyone who treated me as they have is not my friend. If it weren't for DH I'd have nothing to do with them. The councilor has said that I need to forgive, but I do not have to trust or respect them - those are things that are earned. My DH still wants us to be a family - its not going to happen unless I can get over the feeling that she (PseudoMIL) was "the other woman" that about destroyed my marriage (yeah- I do blame DH too- I'm trying to move on, but he wants me to be friends with "the other woman" {PMIL} and Pseudo FIL.)

(for the backstory read my Pseudo IL thread)
I know how you feel, and the older we grow, the less patience we have for people like this, unfortunately, these are your in-laws and your outlook about not wanting to hurt your hubby, shows how selfless you are.

Have you ever tried to counsel with them and your hubby together? I'm just offering something that is probably impossible, but it might help you....you can forgive but you will never forget when someone treats you so badly.

Maybe the gifts they are giving you are their way of saying, "We're sorry". Although it's not right, when it would be so much easier for them to sit down with you and say, we know we hurt you, and we hope that someday down the road you could forgive us for what we did. That I believe would be the best gift you could receive from them.

Hugs to you....
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old September 12th, 2019, 09:04 PM
snafu's Avatar
snafu snafu is offline
future crazy cat lady
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Mid-west
Posts: 10,409
snafu has a reputation beyond reputesnafu has a reputation beyond reputesnafu has a reputation beyond reputesnafu has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Unwanted Gifts

Hi Cream

Burried somewhere in my old posts is the story of what happened when I suggested counciling.

The short version is that I deserved the treatment, she wasn't responsible for her own behaviour.
__________________
once burned, twice shy

He who ignores history is condemed to repeat it!
(it also means you weren't smart enough to learn from your mistakes )
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:31 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2007, The BlueSparks Network