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Old October 7th, 2016, 02:59 AM
treasures4u1 treasures4u1 is offline
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Unhappy Grown daughter neglecting kids

My daughter is 32. She and her boyfriend moved in together and she has 3 kids (ages 12, 8, 6) and he has 2 (ages 17, 14). Her boyfriend Lenny, does NOT discipline his sons at all! She does discipline her kids. So, his boys are unruly, lazy, disrespectful, rude, spoiled, juvenile delinquents and abuse her. My daughter is not allowed to discipline them at all. Lenny tells her that she must tell him if there is a problem. Anyway...it got so bad with the 14 yr old that she has moved in with me with her 3 kids. I was ecstatic that she got away from that and especially for the kids. The problem is she stays in her room. She talks to know one. She totally ignores her kids. They come to me for everything! She doesn't even tell them goodnight or give them a bath or feed them. She stays in her bed with ear buds in her ear listening to music, crying. My other daughter came here for a visit from KS and she hasn't even acknowledged her. I know that her heart is breaking but her poor kids are lost and confused. They don't understand what is going on. I don't know what to do for her or the kids. I take care of them but what do I tell them when they ask whats wrong with mommy? What do I do to get her motivated?
Please help! These poor kids and HER have been through a lot because this is the second time. This happened with her first husband. She jumps from man to man and drags the kids along. I want to have them live with me so they don't have to go through this again.
Don't get me wrong, she is a beautiful person. Sweet, naive, big hearted, smart, talented, very beautiful. But she has to have a man at all times and BOY can she pick-em. I even gave her a number to call a counselor. She won't.
Thanks in advance
Grandmother in need
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Old October 7th, 2016, 03:32 AM
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Annsdil Annsdil is offline
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Re: Grown daughter neglecting kids

She needs medical advice. It sounds like she has depression or another form of mental health issue.
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Last edited by Annsdil; October 7th, 2016 at 06:27 AM.
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Old October 7th, 2016, 06:25 AM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Grown daughter neglecting kids

Tell the children that their mother is sick and care for them the best you can.

As Annsdil has said, your daughter is suffering from a mental illness, most likely a major depression, but that needs a doctor's diagnosis and treatment.

Make an appointment for her with her doctor or with yours. Tell her you are going with her, and she must go. She may fight you. With severe depression, she literally cannot move on her own and needs the support to help her. If you can't get her to the appointment, you go and talk with the doctor about how best to help her. She may need hospitalization.

If she threatens suicide directly, or expresses suicidal ideation, I.e "the kids would be better off without me," or "No one will care if I die," call 911. She needs immediate intervention for her own protection.

My heart goes out to you. This will not be easy, but you're a mother who has given birth! You are stronger than you know.
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Old October 8th, 2016, 10:10 AM
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Re: Grown daughter neglecting kids

(((hugs)))

she does sound depressed


remember to make "you" time/take care of yourself - so that you remain healthy .... 'cause if you don't no one is going to be able to take care of things
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