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Other friendships Best friends, ex-friends, or any other friends

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Old September 17th, 2017, 03:18 PM
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heartbeat heartbeat is offline
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High maintenance friends...?

Do you have them in your life? How do you cope with them? You know, the ones who demand you to always answer their texts immediately and also initiate call them and then gets upset at you if you didn't meet their demands, but on the flipside, they are prone to double standards themselves and they always took ages to answer your texts and doesn't initiate phone calls. So it's like you are contributing at least 80% efforts into the friendship and they are contributing only 20% efforts into the friendship.

I usually try my best to remain patient when it comes to such things, but lately I find myself struggling with depression and I have this huge need for alone time at the moment and I'm thinking of switching off my phone for a few weeks, but at the same time I worry that this gesture of mine would upset those high-maintenance friends of mine. I had previously lost a best friend of mine a few years ago due to this similar situation (I was going through depression at that time too and she kept texting me about her crush and I couldn't find the energy to answer those texts and she ended up very upset at me and ended up confronting me and we ended up getting into a huge fight and our friendship ended up gone forever), and I really don't want history to repeat itself with my current friends.

What should I do in this situation? lol. How do I not upset my friends but at the same time take care of my own mental health needs?
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Old September 17th, 2017, 06:47 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: High maintenance friends...?

I have some friends like that. I don't think you should worry for a split second about upsetting them if you take a time out. If they were real friends, they'd worry about you instead of being angry with you.

But before you just turn off your phone, can you reach out to any of them to see if they're willing to give more to the friendship? Have you tried talking about your problems with any of them?

Do you have anyone at all to talk to about your problems?
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Old October 3rd, 2017, 11:35 PM
mia500 mia500 is offline
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Re: High maintenance friends...?

I agree with Kay, if they really are there for you then they would stay there even when you need a break. There was a time where I had to exclude myself from social things because of my own depression as well, and the most important thing is that you don't feel guilty for doing that. It's your mental health that comes first. I would formally let them know that you are working on yourself (or however you would phrase it), and that you will always be present but just a little preoccupied for a while.
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