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Old June 22nd, 2017, 04:25 PM
LondonGold1980 LondonGold1980 is offline
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Best friend ignoring me

Hi
I'm new here so hey

Im a female and I've known this person for 8 years. She used to date my 2nd cousin. She got together roughly same time I started dated my husband. From day one we got on and our friendship was honest and open. Like sisters. Cut a long story short 2 years into our friendship she was my maid of honour at my wedding . From 2009 till 2012 her relationship with my cousin was rocky. On/off. Heated. Was awful to hear them argue and her crying all the time. But when they were on good terms it was lovely. They got along when it suited but anyways I supported her by being there because not only she was my close friend but I saw her pain when they finally split up. I stood by her and had to listen to her parents fraustration (which I got as parents that they felt their daughter wasted 4 years). Anyone would think I betrayed my family member without supporting him but I didn't want to be piggy in the middle who knew how A and B was and how they were. To say the least in true honesty my relationship with my cousin went cold after the split. But FYI I'm trying to rebuild that now.

So life carried on for her. And for him. Some were positive some negative. But she was getting back to normality to say. I had a child in 2014 and she loved her like her own. Things were good. Even tho my social days were slightly numbered we still made time to meet up. Even for tea .
Fast forward..in may 2015 she was diagnosed with a brain Tumor. Serious life threatening. Everything changed.
Now - I've experienced two parents with cancer and sadly loosing one to it so I respect ones space. I made effort were I could to see her at the hospital once after her operation and two/three times at home when she allowed visitors and of course when she was up to it, but we kept in touch by all means and she kept positive and till this day I'm sure she does still, because that's the person she is. A fighter. So 2015 our friendship was still. 2016 start off she had her appointments and check up, and she managed to get on her feet again slowly atva pace. Basically we was proud of her and I always told her this. Of course I didn't see much of her but we kept in touch. I sold my car as I couldn't afford it (full time house mum/wife ), but I always asked to let me know when she was up for a visit and I'll make my journey by bus. And by bus about 8 miles or so and 2 bus journeys then another 2 back home with the baby. But this wasn't a issue what so ever for me. . I last saw her just before I took my car off the road and that was march 2016. Our meeting thereafter never happened. But I respected her space and her timing.
Fast forward. Start of August I lost my uncle and one day later I woke up with the worst headache/ head pressure which went on 24/7 for months. It was unbearable to the point I lost sleep and was half myself over weeks .. Mid August I last spoke to her just before she went in for another operation. I never told her about my headaches . By that time I was now suffering aniexty panic attacks and mild depression. End of August I went to gp and he says it was stress related due to my uncle's sudden passing and my friend. I wasnt convinced.. And all my muscles were playing up. So he prescribed painkillers which made things much worse. I thought I was loosing my mind with the pressure in the head. When I returned to the gp some 2 days later he prescribed me a low dose of antidepressants which worked as a muscle relaxer and he suggested I still went on holiday. So I texted my friend that I would keep in touch. I was going for a long duration. I still didn't tell her my situation I didn't want to burden her, but I was at the staged I convinced myself I had something wrong with me . When i was abroad I messaged her on her birthday asking how she was. I got a short uninvited reply (she was now using her phone) not asking how i was or how the baby was. I tried not to think about it too much because I knew she was still recovering. Then I started to noticed she was putting this photos of innuendo friendship quotes on Instagram and Facebook. Again I tried not to take it personally towards me. Reason why because when I made couple of comments on some other photos or status she never replied to me or liked, but did akowledged for others. I messaged her in October I got blanked. And again she would put another friendship quote. In November I texted her and tried calling her - and I got nothing. I went back To my gp to give him the scan results I took when I was abroad (that's how desperate I got) which showed up I have arthritis in the neck. But by this time I've become a emotional mess, Aniexty and panic attacks (which I suffered before when my parent was ill/died 11 yes ago- but I managed to get over it without medication in a space of 2 years. But now I'm married with a child I needed help fast) . I went for 4 months physio which over time helped tremendously but I was also given a brain MRI which came out clear. So 8 months were pretty bad. But I know it's nothing compared to my friends situation . Anyways. I messaged her on Xmas day she replied with just a thank you . I replied how she was getting on. Nothing. And over that period I tried calling her. Blanked. She continued to put up her words. In Feb I closed my FB account.In march/April (I've just had a MRI and nearly done with my physio) I noticed on my husbands FB (I had a little look) she Again put another innuendo about friendship which was in our native language "friendship that was for many years isn't what it looked like it was" something along that line. This pretty much peeded me off so I texted her asking what I done wrong . No reply. And that's it. She didn't messaged me on my bday nothing. I decided to delete her on my Instagram because I didn't want to continue see the insults . Even tho it didn't have my name written on it I know it was for me to see.
I've now returned on social media. She deleted me (fair enough) but what I find hurtful is she's kept people who didn't bother messaging her how she was doing when she was hurting after she broke up with her bf. I ruined my relationship with my cousin for supporting her and that's the thanks I get. But I don't want to complain
I don't want to sound shallow. It really shouldn't matter. . I don't want her suffering.. I don't know what her stage is now.
I know the friendship is finished and it's sad
Just need to vent I suppose. I don't have friends.

Last edited by LondonGold1980; June 23rd, 2017 at 01:43 AM.
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Old June 22nd, 2017, 05:46 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: Best friend ignoring me

That's a very sad story. I'm sorry for the loss of your friendship.

Personality changes are not unheard of with brain tumors. Your friend changed into something you don't recognize as being her. How sad for both of you.
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Old June 22nd, 2017, 05:55 PM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Best friend ignoring me

I'm so sorry you went through all of this with your friend and how she's ignoring you.

I was thinking along the same lines as KayKay: your friend may have had a personality change with the tumor.
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Old June 23rd, 2017, 01:56 AM
LondonGold1980 LondonGold1980 is offline
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Re: Best friend ignoring me

Thank you for your reply
I understand what you guys are saying it could possibly be just that. but reading her posts of innuendos it was a direct message of somehow of her disappointment maybe with me- maybe she felt I didn't support her enough. I don't know. One thing I'm sure going back to her posts she probably felt I only got in contact because I was "curious" . I had my problems especially loosing my uncle and at the same time I had to deal with my situation to sort myself out for the sake of my husband and child. So even if I went quiet I had my reasons. I had to put myself first. My family come first no matter what.
I just needed someone other then my family to listen. Thanks for the replys
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Old June 23rd, 2017, 04:40 AM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Best friend ignoring me

Your friend was going though things. You were going through things. She is not as empathetic as you are. I'm sorry. Perhaps after some time, she'll realize what she lost and get in touch.

I hope you make time for yourself and find a few new friends to share your good times and hard times with.

Last edited by LucyVanPelt; June 23rd, 2017 at 03:02 PM. Reason: typo
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Old June 23rd, 2017, 10:59 AM
LondonGold1980 LondonGold1980 is offline
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Re: Best friend ignoring me

Maybe she will maybe she won't. The friendship is gone she made up her mind when she posted what I found were indirect insults. And she didn't want to say why she was ignoring me when I messaged her. Her decision. I just wish her well. Relationship is over.

Last edited by LondonGold1980; June 23rd, 2017 at 11:04 AM.
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Old August 3rd, 2017, 07:43 AM
Belin Belin is offline
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Re: Best friend ignoring me

I just joined this forum because I wanted to talk to someone about my lost of a friendship and here I am reading your message about your best friend ignoring you. I am a female and my best friend is a female. We live a few states apart. Been friends for 14 years. But the past 6 months she is cold. Maybe it's my part to blame because I don't text her much. But she doesn't text or when she does she is very short with her answers. She texted me the other day wishing me a happy birthday. I was happy she did. I asked her how she is doing. She replied "oh just busy". I asked how is she busy three times and yet she didn't answer me. She avoided my question. I still can try to keep up the friendship and text her but I know she will not share any information about her life. So I am at the point in giving up. Don't know what to do yet at this point. Never been through this before. I feel your pain for loosing a good friend.

Last edited by Belin; August 3rd, 2017 at 07:49 AM.
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