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Other friendships Best friends, ex-friends, or any other friends

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Old September 29th, 2017, 02:09 PM
Mr Eko Mr Eko is offline
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Someone intentionally tried to hurt me in my time of grief

I had something happen recently that just blew my mind. Just when I thought I had seen it all. I suppose there really is no bottom when it comes to what depths people will sink to. On Monday September 11th, my father collapsed. He never regained consciousness, and died in the hospital two days later. While he was in his 70's, and had some health issues, nobody was anticipating his death. It was very hard, to say the least. I am still processing the grief and will be for some time. While I did receive a lot of love and support from a lot of people, there were two in particular who actually attempted to make things worse for me. A former friend and a friend of hers who I had met a few times in the past, but otherwise, barely knew.

My former friend and I fell out back in 2009. Sadly, we never recovered from it, but NOT for my lack of trying. I jumped through all kinds of hoops and did everything in my power to get her forgiveness. Last year, she told me that if I would fall on my sword and take all of the blame for the fallout, then she would consider reconciliation. So, I did as she told me to. She tossed me a little bone by accepting my friend request on Facebook, but that was it. She never replied to me if I messaged her, and she still griped to others about the things that I said to her years ago. Things that I had since apologized for. She even went so far as to post pictures of her and a guy who tried to rape her, saying all kinds of nice things about him, what an awesome person he was, etc. It was basically a message to me saying that a would be rapist gets forgiveness, but not me. So, that was that. I had played enough of her games with her. When I unfriended her, she had got a big laugh out of it, posting things on her page about how I must not have been able to take the heat.

Fast forward to recently. In the wake of my father's passing, she actually had the gall to message me to tell me that I deserve this grief. She said that I probably contributed to my father's death because I treated him so poorly. And then said "knowing you, you may have even poisoned him or something". To my credit, I didn't let it get to me too much. I just kept telling myself that what she says is completely worthless. Then, two weeks later, I get another message, but this one was from a friend of hers. I was totally baffled as to why she would even contact me, or for that matter, even remember me. We only met a few times, and that was YEARS ago. She goes on to echo what my former friend said, that I was getting what I deserved, etc. She said that my father probably died on purpose just to get away from his loser of a son. She said that I was a pervert, a weirdo, I would never amount to anything, and even all the money in the world couldn't buy me a woman or some such.

She only did it because my former friend told her to. She obviously can't think for herself. She even said that her message to me was "payback" for the way I treated her friend years ago. And that if her friend had an issue with someone, then she did as well. As taken aback as I was by this, I had to chuckle at that last line. Having an issue with someone just because your friend does is, well, childish to say the least. I would expect such a thing out of children, not from two females in their early 30's. I honestly never thought I would see someone stoop THAT low. Maybe my former friend felt like she needed to get revenge on me for our fallout years ago. But, I have news for her. If that was her revenge, then the joke is clearly on her. I had already hit rock bottom emotionally, so there was NOTHING that she (and her friend) could say to make me feel any worse. Grief had already taken hold of me, and that grief just laughed in the face of whatever pain they thought that they could cause.
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Old September 29th, 2017, 02:35 PM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Someone intentionally tried to hurt me in my time of grief

I'm sorry for the loss of your father.

And i'm sorry that you have the misfortune of knowing such nasty people. Report them for harassment, block them, and never talk to them again. Seriously, she sounds like she has some mental or emotional disorder. She needs help, and the other person involved isn't being a very good friend to her by encouraging this bad behavior.

Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say.
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Old September 29th, 2017, 03:22 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: Someone intentionally tried to hurt me in my time of grief

I am sorry for the loss of your father.

You will find that through your loss and grief, you will gain a maturity that helps you see things like the actions of your former friend and her friend clearly and with detachment. I am glad that you realize what pathetic excuses for humans they are.

I agree with Lucy's advice. Report them for harassment, block them, and wash your hands of any future dealings with them. Karma will eventually take care of them for you.
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Old October 3rd, 2017, 11:31 PM
mia500 mia500 is offline
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Re: Someone intentionally tried to hurt me in my time of grief

I am sorry for your loss.

You sound like you are way above them in maturity. I would move on and try to grow past this phase of revenge and high school-like drama. Just let this be evidence that you do not need them in your life anymore. Don't pay them any mind, and focus on your own growth as a person. You truly deserve better.
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