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  #21  
Old July 30th, 2008, 10:19 AM
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Re: Building a better relationship with SD

My "mission" was always how would I want my DS treated if I died & I want to do those things for my DSD. Instead I was just left out ...a lot...

(for those who don't know check the thread on Pseudo Inlaws)
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  #22  
Old July 30th, 2008, 04:11 PM
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Re: Building a better relationship with SD

Great idea, snafu! I hope someday your DH and DSD realize what a gem they found in you. You have the patience of a saint and a heart of gold.
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  #23  
Old July 30th, 2008, 07:44 PM
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Re: Building a better relationship with SD

Thanks Elaine - I just wish I didn't feel as if the past 3-4 years had been wasted ( in ref: to DSD). Hopefully it will be better from here on out (I'm not expecting perfection just... "normal")
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  #24  
Old August 13th, 2008, 08:47 PM
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Re: Building a better relationship with SD

Nonny - you asked in another thread how things were going - well they're not

It could be DSD & I are on different wave lengths - or maybe neither one of us wants to "force" the other one into anything (maybe we each were waiting for the other one) - the day we were supposed to go has been here & gone- no trip - oh well

However, ex H has let DS pick out a favorite pict & will be bringing it back with him .... so maybe that will get the ball rolling
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  #25  
Old August 14th, 2008, 02:21 PM
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Re: Building a better relationship with SD

Quote:
Originally Posted by snafu View Post
Nonny - you asked in another thread how things were going - well they're not

It could be DSD & I are on different wave lengths - or maybe neither one of us wants to "force" the other one into anything (maybe we each were waiting for the other one) - the day we were supposed to go has been here & gone- no trip - oh well

However, ex H has let DS pick out a favorite pict & will be bringing it back with him .... so maybe that will get the ball rolling
Just keep the door open for the project and it will come together in time.

I admire the way you handle yourself, Snafu. You are both putting yourself out there emotionally and are thoughtfully balancing sooo much.

'Waiting' for each other sounds like being careful and caring to me. The balance will tip I think and it will feel right for one of you to make a move to work on it.

Your doing well to not pounce on the project and 'make it happen'. It is as much about having and growing into the experience of doing it together as it is about a final project that honors everyone.

'Getting the ball rolling' with the picture your son is bringing is a great step imo.
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  #26  
Old August 19th, 2008, 02:48 PM
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Re: Building a better relationship with SD



We (DSD & DS & I) went and got picture frames today. {If you wonder why I left DH out- well...I wanted to do it with the kids and DH would have wanted the least expensive frames - I wanted it to be special (ie the perfect frames not the cheapest)} We spent $70 , but we now have pictures up in the entryway. However my ex forgot to bring our DS's favorite pict of the two of them together - so we'll be off on a frame hunt again- once we get the pict.
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  #27  
Old August 22nd, 2008, 05:56 AM
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Re: Building a better relationship with SD



Things are looking better - she doesn't stay in her room all the time now - (just most of the time - ) & she shows interest in things my DS is doing - and we are at least talking with each other (as opposed to talking "at" each other)

We've got more picts to put up too.
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  #28  
Old March 24th, 2009, 08:30 PM
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Re: Building a better relationship with SD

Quote:
Originally Posted by snafu View Post
I need some opinions...I'd like to contact DSD's mom's high school/class reunion people & ask that those who knew her mom write about things they did, their memories of her, see if they have any picts that I could have copies of (along with the story of the pict). I'd also like to do the same thing with her grade school & college. I'm sure there's some funny things that her mom did that my Pseudo ILs never knew about.

If I got this stuff, I'd like to get it made into a scrap book for DSD. What do you think? And (gulp) do I dare try to work with my Pseudo MIL? It could be an olive branch or...as I fear blow up in my face.

I never did anything about this, but the other day I asked DSD if she'd want to do something similar with me. She said she'd think about it...she also seemed interested.... I also told her some of the stuff that I'd done with friends in highschool that I don't know if my DM knows/remembers (ie. TPing a math teacher after he gave friends & I a hard time about TPing another friends house) I though she might like to learn more about her mom.
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  #29  
Old April 2nd, 2009, 08:28 PM
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Re: Building a better relationship with SD

Things are still improving - baby steps... hopfully we'll get to "walking"
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  #30  
Old April 2nd, 2009, 09:45 PM
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Re: Building a better relationship with SD

I am glad things are improving.
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