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Old July 24th, 2020, 02:07 PM
Wandarlust Wandarlust is offline
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Would anyone on the board feel the same way as I do about the following events?

I am currently living with my niece, her boyfriend and their two dogs.

I moved here a year or so ago to try to save money and hopefully get my own place. I lived with them briefly after my husband passed away 14 years ago, so it's not a first time thing.

Since covid started, my niece has not taken the dogs to doggie day care as she used to do. Only a couple of times. At first she was working from home; but she's been back at work for a while now and just leaves the dogs for me to "watch" all day long.

In addition, her mother, my sister, has been having health problems and needed someone to stay with her for a bit until she felt like she could stay on her own. Even though she has 4 local children, my niece and another niece have done the brunt of the work. I offered to fill in the gaps b/c they both work, and I'm retired so why not help out, right?

During one of these visits, the niece I live with called to chat with her. They proceeded to talk about how her boss's mother died of covid and her boss had to be out of town. Now she has his work and his. In addition, there had been a case of covid where she works. I've since learned there's been another one.

But what's odd is that when my sister got off the phone, I jokingly said I may have to go to a hotel. My sister replies; "oh we were talking about so and so" (another of my nieces who lives in another state). I said "oh really" and she says yes.

I have since found out that was not the case. The niece I live with was definitely talking about her boss and her workplace. This has been two weeks ago and she has not mentioned it to me.

Now, I realize that some things are private. I don't need to now a thing about what she does, where she goes, how much she makes, etc. But i do think that sharing this news is important and pertinent for me to know. I am further very disappointed, and frankly angry, to learn that my sister outright lied to my face.

Am I overreacting to this? I'd love to leave at the end of this month, but I'm not ready yet. But maybe anywhere is better than a situation where you're being lied to. I also feel used as I pay rent, clean as much as I can around the house, yet I've been left with the dogs everyday for months now with no compensation, etc. I'm retired so I am home, so I feel they just take advantage of that.

Last edited by Wandarlust; July 24th, 2020 at 02:11 PM. Reason: clarify
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Old July 24th, 2020, 05:31 PM
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Re: Would anyone on the board feel the same way as I do about the following events?

I don't know what rules/things you agreed to when you moved in.

However - I would want details about covid in the work place.
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Old July 24th, 2020, 06:23 PM
Wandarlust Wandarlust is offline
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Re: Would anyone on the board feel the same way as I do about the following events?

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Originally Posted by snafu View Post
I don't know what rules/things you agreed to when you moved in.

However - I would want details about covid in the work place.
I agree. Hard to bring up since it's supposed to be her sister's work place and her sister's boss.

I now there are cases b/c I looked up where she works and there it is on their website (she works for a HOA) about the recent employee cases. Ugh!

Think the thing to do is just make sure I'm not close to her and concentrate on finding other housing. I just can't understand why she would not bring this up. And why her mom would lie to me about it.
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Old July 24th, 2020, 08:52 PM
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Re: Would anyone on the board feel the same way as I do about the following events?

Why do you think they lied?
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Old July 24th, 2020, 09:51 PM
Wandarlust Wandarlust is offline
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Re: Would anyone on the board feel the same way as I do about the following events?

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Why do you think they lied?
My post is long and perhaps I didn't explain it clearly enough.

When I was staying with my sister, the niece I live with - we'll call her B - called. The two discussed the fact that her boss's mother had died, from covid 19. So he had to be out of town. Which is ironic in itself b/c the guy doesn't put much store by the virus. So now, B had to do her work and his. In addition, there had been a reported case at her place of work.

When my sister hung up, I remarked that maybe I should go to a hotel. I was only half joking. And my sister replied "Oh that wasn't at B's place of work; it was at J's place of work." Another one of her daughters that lives in another state. This conversation took place sometime between July 10 and the 17.

A couple of nights ago I casually asked B's boyfriend where she was as she was usually home by this time. He said that she had a lot of extra work to do because her boss's mother had died. He did not say from what, but I found it hard to believe that two of my niece's both had bosses whose mothers had just recently died. So, I googled B's place of work and there it was on the website. Two employees confirmed with covid 19.

When they spoke, there was just the one case. According to the website, there's been another one, confirmed on July 20. Yet,no mention of it at all from B. And, obviously, they were talking about B's place of work, not J's as my sister stated.
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Old July 25th, 2020, 07:56 AM
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Re: Would anyone on the board feel the same way as I do about the following events?

I'm sorry - it's MY post that needs explanation.

My question was meant to be "What do you think their reason was for lying to you?"
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Old July 25th, 2020, 09:27 AM
Wandarlust Wandarlust is offline
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Re: Would anyone on the board feel the same way as I do about the following events?

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I'm sorry - it's MY post that needs explanation.

My question was meant to be "What do you think their reason was for lying to you?"
I have no idea. Your guess is as good as mine, but that's a good question. Whatever the reason, it can't be good.
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Old July 25th, 2020, 11:04 AM
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Re: Would anyone on the board feel the same way as I do about the following events?

Do you think it could be possible that their reason was a misguided attempt at kindness?

An example would be if they thought you'd be super worried and they didn't want you to be. I'm in favor of telling anyone who might have been exposed to someone who might have COVID no matter how remote. But I think CDC guidelines of who has to be notified might be different from what I think ought to happen.

In your niece's situation, her boss wasn't necessarily exposed because his mother died of it (if she lived in a different town and he hadn't been around her). So your niece wasn't exposed. Is it possible that they worried how you would take the news?

The fact that two employees at your niece's work were diagnosed is unrelated to her boss's mom dying, and in my opinion should have been brought up to you. Is it possible that your niece wasn't exposed to them? I do some work remotely and a person in the home office was diagnosed with COVID. I have absolutely zero exposure (120 miles away!) and wouldn't feel it necessary to notify my family members about it.

I have no idea if this is the case... I'm just trying to think of non-hurtful reasons your mom and sister may have told that lie.
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Old July 25th, 2020, 04:34 PM
Wandarlust Wandarlust is offline
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Re: Would anyone on the board feel the same way as I do about the following events?

Quote:
Originally Posted by KayKay View Post
Do you think it could be possible that their reason was a misguided attempt at kindness?

An example would be if they thought you'd be super worried and they didn't want you to be. I'm in favor of telling anyone who might have been exposed to someone who might have COVID no matter how remote. But I think CDC guidelines of who has to be notified might be different from what I think ought to happen.

In your niece's situation, her boss wasn't necessarily exposed because his mother died of it (if she lived in a different town and he hadn't been around her). So your niece wasn't exposed. Is it possible that they worried how you would take the news?

The fact that two employees at your niece's work were diagnosed is unrelated to her boss's mom dying, and in my opinion should have been brought up to you. Is it possible that your niece wasn't exposed to them? I do some work remotely and a person in the home office was diagnosed with COVID. I have absolutely zero exposure (120 miles away!) and wouldn't feel it necessary to notify my family members about it.

I have no idea if this is the case... I'm just trying to think of non-hurtful reasons your mom and sister may have told that lie.
That's possible I suppose. As odd as it seems, I'm just going to go with that for now. Thanks!
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Old July 31st, 2020, 09:16 PM
Wandarlust Wandarlust is offline
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Re: Would anyone on the board feel the same way as I do about the following events?

I just realized that you said "my mom and sister" it is my niece and sister.

Just wanted to clear that up.

And, after thinking about it a little more, I think it's just them being their usual close to the chest people. My sister actually told me once that certain ones in the family (her children) will tell some of the siblings something, but not others. Who knows why.

Anyway, realizing exactly how different we really are. Just funny how it never hit me until the last couple of years.

Or maybe one of us changed.
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