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Old August 13th, 2008, 01:35 PM
Bridget Bridget is offline
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All hell broke loose today!

Today I told my MIL that I didn't need her to watch my kids, because they were going to a friends house. Well she started saying that its her 2 hours a week and she can't even have that with them. And it was like that they wanted to go somewhere else. Well anyways my computer disconnected so I had to restart it and she sent me a messeage back "thats nice sign out in the middle of a conversation,,,,i have no idea what your poblem is ,,,,and you act like i am the one with an attitude,,,,,,we live 3 miles away,,,never see or hear from you guys unless you want some thing,,,,,,,and then you have your little moods and act rude as hell and wont let me see the kids .........thats real mature bridget,,,,,,i dont care what your problem is but I WILL have time with my grand kids,,,,,,you wouldnt shcedule some thing else ontop of kerrys time on sunday after noons,,,,,,but i just dont count for ****,,,,,but you wanna say i am takingsome thing out on you ,,,,,,,,,". And this arguement started and she said stuf and I said stuff. Then she called and told my husband and then called my FIL and told him stuff. And they both said that her and I should go to counseling together. I am not going their with her. I told Donnie I really don't care much to do that. She is blowing this all up, just because the kids wanted to go somewhere else. I am really worried that she is going to start something during Jacob birthday party.
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Old August 13th, 2008, 01:48 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: All hell broke loose today!

I'm sorry about the argument, Bridget. You sound really angry.

I'm guessing this was an IM conversation? Anyway you could get a printout of it? IMO you need to have a record of it. I can't believe she had the nerve to call your DH to tell him about your fight.

Two things: First, your DH said you didn't have to deal with her, so don't deal with her. Next time, let HIM make that call about not needing her to babysit. Besides, aren't you going to stop needing her to babysit once school starts anyway? Your DH needs to be the one to tell her that and take the heat.

Second, you're already *IN* counseling, thankyouverymuch, and maybe MIL needs to get her OWN counseling sessions.
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Old August 13th, 2008, 02:01 PM
Bridget Bridget is offline
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Re: All hell broke loose today!

I think I am beyond angry, if there is such a thing. I know and when I called her she hung up on me and she hung up on my hubby. Yeah I can't wait to see what is gonna happen when He tells her that I won't need her when school starts. It will be my fault, somehow. I like how she said "i dont care what your problem is but I WILL have time with my grand kids". I wanna see how. It seems to her like I have to share custody with her. Thats what she think in her head. NOT GONNA HAPPEN
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Old August 13th, 2008, 02:42 PM
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Re: All hell broke loose today!

Your DH telling you that the 2 of you (MIL & you) should go to counseling is just his way of saying, "Gee, I don't want to deal with that."

His mom
His issue.
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Old August 13th, 2008, 08:28 PM
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Re: All hell broke loose today!

I'm going to be the disenting voice here - I do think MIL (monster in law) neesds counciling - {Bridget - I don't remember your story} and if you are in counciling - and you've got a good councilor- I think the MIL should see the same one (maybe) so that MIL can't play victim (is she a "N"?)

Better yet - if you are in counciling ask his/her opinion - then go from there. However, if your DH is like my DH he'll think one joint session will solve everything
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Old August 13th, 2008, 09:07 PM
Bridget Bridget is offline
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Re: All hell broke loose today!

No he knows that nothing will ever change her. Not even couseling. Yes she is a NUT! If thats what you ment. So what am I suppose to do?
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Old August 13th, 2008, 09:13 PM
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Re: All hell broke loose today!

Has she ever been to counseling? If she did go do you think the councilor could get DH to recognize that she's a Monster IL? (I'd call her something else- but it'd get censored)

(you may want to check out the fathers rights thread & the site about childcustody- so you know your rights)
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Old August 14th, 2008, 08:03 AM
Bridget Bridget is offline
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Re: All hell broke loose today!

I know my rights, I am their parent shes not. She has NO RIGHTS. LOL My hubby and I are still together, she thinks that she has the right to see them whenever she wants. Shes in for a rude awaking.
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Old August 14th, 2008, 08:37 AM
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Re: All hell broke loose today!

Wow Bridget! I just posted regarding in-laws wanting to move close and your post scares me a bit. It sounds like your MIL is still suffering from "empty nest syndrome," yet wants to "refill" her nest. I think that may be the root cause of a lot of these MIL/DIL problems. I think my MIL has the syndrome going but she does contain herself for the most part. However, this is what I'm referring to when I mention in my post of a strain being put in relationships. Sometimes, I just think it's better to keep a distance from extended family for these reasons. Trust me, I thought I had the best MIL and then the kids came. Even from afar, our relationship is strained a bit, I can't even imagine living 3 miles away. I probably haven't helped you much but wanted to respond to tell you that you are DEFINITELY not alone. There's some sort of wall that's built up between MIL's/DIL's and I think it has to do with being females and territorialism. Good luck to you and take care.
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Old August 14th, 2008, 04:17 PM
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Re: All hell broke loose today!

Well here I go...there is a problem with two women being in the kitchen at the same time...definately...and, as I've said before, I do know so many people who are MIL's/DIL's who really really get along well. For instance, my girlfriend's son and DIL left for Calif. Before they left, girlfriend had a huge going away party for them...before they left, her DIL bought a ticket to Calif. for her for next month already. The other DIL calls her every day...and that is the truth...and so on...so don't give up and believe that it doesn't exist.

I will add here in reading about the MIL wanting to fill an empty nest. Let me explain something to you...and please understand, I'm not taking sides here. When my DIL was pregnant, the same girlfriend told me, when you hold that baby for the first time...there is an instant bond. Remember, that baby is part of her and FIL...you instantly fall in love with GC.

I work with girls who love their MIL's. Only one I know of who doesn't get along with hers. And there are huge problems there like you are experiencing. But I know the girl, and she is a bully. So, no one in our group is surprised. And surely I am not comparing her to you...just thinking out loud about all the young girls I know with small children...3, 7, 10, 13.

I don't know the extent of your entire problem, but it does sound huge...but, I would definately invite her to go to couseling with you...b/c even if it doesn't help, you'll get something out of it, and then you know, you've exhausted every single avenue.

Also, while reading your explaination...I'm wondering...when you phoned her and told her the kids were not coming...Did you start off by saying, Listen, I hope you'll understand, but the kids have decided They would like to go somewhere else today. I wouldn't normally say yes, but, it's the end of the summer and they have their hearts set. Or, did you just say to her, The children won't be coming today?

She sounds like there are a lot of underlying situations going on in her mind, and she just exploded...like me the other week with my BIL...which was wrong...

but like Elaine said, things build up and build up...and to me, I think the counseling would be very positive for you...why...because you'll have someone nuteral to discuss the problem with. By the way, how is it going...is it helping or haven't you gone that long?

Again, don't know the extent of the problem, but sounds like its pretty heated and been going on for some time. I'm very sorry, and even if you don't agree with me...hope you know, I'm just trying to throw some thoughts out there.

Oh, and let me tell you something else...I get to meet with a ton of different women and when I do, I think of all you guys, and myself of course, and I ask them, straight out, "Do you get along with your MIL"? I was surprised to learn that most of their responses were as their eyes lite up...Oh God I love my MIL....out of approx. 12 of those women, there was one that said, my MIL can be a pain, but I do love her. And one said, she hated her MIL...so, there you go.

Please keep your chin up...it's not easy going thru this...

Wishing you the best
Creme

Last edited by Cremebrulee; August 14th, 2008 at 04:22 PM.
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