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  #31  
Old August 30th, 2013, 05:58 AM
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CRaZYTaNKeR CRaZYTaNKeR is offline
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Re: give everyone a good laugh ( keep it clean)

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Doorbell delivery service
(no need to go on cause people just stare )
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  #32  
Old August 30th, 2013, 04:52 PM
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Re: give everyone a good laugh ( keep it clean)

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  #33  
Old February 22nd, 2014, 11:46 PM
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Re: give everyone a good laugh ( keep it clean)

I went to the doctor and said: "It hurts when I laugh."
He said: "Don't laugh." "Next!"

=====

First thing one Monday morning, a robber broke into the bank, and pointed his guns at the cashier said,

"Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!"

The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say HISTORY."

The robber answered, "Don't change the subject!"
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  #34  
Old February 23rd, 2014, 07:11 AM
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Re: give everyone a good laugh ( keep it clean)

^Hahahaha! I really like that one!
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  #35  
Old February 25th, 2014, 02:43 AM
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Re: give everyone a good laugh ( keep it clean)

Glad you liked it, KayKay.

Here's another one:

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: Did you help him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
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  #36  
Old June 5th, 2014, 06:50 AM
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Re: give everyone a good laugh ( keep it clean)

I have a friend who has been posting some very funny stuff:

I'd take Cap'n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren't on his hat.

I hate it when i'm drinking and someone tries to correct my vodkabulary.

Careful girls, fat guys just wanna get inside your pantries.

When life gives you melons, you’re probably dyslexic.

I wonder if tap dancers ever walk into a room, look at the floor, and think, "I'd tap that."

I want to send a shout out to all the sidewalks-- thank you for keeping me off the streets!
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  #37  
Old June 20th, 2014, 07:27 PM
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Re: give everyone a good laugh ( keep it clean)

What key doesn't unlock a door?


- the Florida Keys


(anyone have additional suggestions?)
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  #38  
Old June 21st, 2014, 04:54 AM
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Re: give everyone a good laugh ( keep it clean)

Quote:
Originally Posted by snafu View Post
What key doesn't unlock a door?


- the Florida Keys


(anyone have additional suggestions?)
Monkey, Donkey, Hockey...
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  #39  
Old December 28th, 2014, 10:29 PM
memyselfandi memyselfandi is offline
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Re: give everyone a good laugh ( keep it clean)

Ok..this is fairly clean but a true story.

My first marriage..my married name was Kracht.

Not a fun last name by any means as nobody pronounced it right.

When we'd go to a restarant we'd leave our name in my hubbies name rather than our last as too many times we'd hear, "Party of two for Kracht (while they pronounced it "Crotch"

haha..

My first hubby loved to just take off on me in a store and I could never ever find him. The second I'd see him, he'd keep moving and I'd lose him again. Sometimes I'd do this for hours until I finally learned to find at seat near the checkout and patiently wait for him to appear.

One day at Menards..it got to be close to two hours and I was tired of chasing him around. We'd discussed this over and over and I threatened to have him paged one of these days.

I'd had enough, went to the service desk and had my hubbies name paged. Wrote it down on a piece of paper as the service rep called out, "Harry Crotch please come to the service desk..Harry Crotch.."

Not at ALL what I'd written down..but it was kinda funny as everyone in the store was laughing at some guy called Harry Crotch..

As I waited in the car in total embarrassment..my hubby came to the car very soon after saying, "Thanks a lot..huhuhuhu!!"

He always DID have a great sense of humor..lol!!
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  #40  
Old December 31st, 2014, 06:17 PM
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Re: give everyone a good laugh ( keep it clean)

Why did the shark cross the ocean?

To get to the other tide

Hur hur hur
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