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Old June 2nd, 2017, 01:15 AM
lilly210 lilly210 is offline
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Love my husband - He drives me crazy!

Good evening everyone -
I've been married for 5 years and we're been together for 2.
In the beginning everything was great and date long distance before he moved out here. We currently don't have children, going through financial difficulties as we're working on building a business of our own.
After we got married, I started to realized lots of things about him, I didn't see before. Of course, major of the time, that's the case. Love is blind.
As the years go by, we're finding it more difficult to communicate with one another. He won't listen and I'm not going to blame only him, it's on me too.
I don't listen to him. It's almost seems like we lost that respect for one another. I don't want my marriage to go South. DOn't want a divorce. But, there's just time where, I can't help think is he intentionally trying to make it difficult for us to communicate. He seems to be more patience with others, instead of me, his wife. Arguments is about a stupid argument that's about how I answered him and him not listening to me. When I'm upset, he never ask why. He just wants me to get over it and be happy. Doesn't work that way for me. He doesn't talk about his emotions too much.
It just seems like the longer we're together the more I feel I'm distance and I don't see us having anything in common. Honestly, we really don't beside watching the same shows. We don't even have the same hobbies.
I tried to get him to do something with me or plan something. He hardly puts any effort into the relationship. It's just being there next to me. Pushing a bolder up the hill on my own sometimes.
Doesn't want to do anything I want to do. We're not creating any new experiences beside stay home and binge watch TV, which I'm tired of.
Is this how marriage works after a while?
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  #2  
Old June 2nd, 2017, 05:31 AM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Love my husband - He drives me crazy!

This isn't how marriage "works." It's how marriages fail.

All marriages hit a rut and go through rough times. Committing to the marriage and doing the work to repair the damage is what makes these work long term.

Even though your husband will not go, you should go to a pro-marriage marriage counselor. A good one will help you with your communication skills. When you change, his response to you will also change.
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Old June 2nd, 2017, 01:14 PM
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Re: Love my husband - He drives me crazy!

ITA with Lucy Everybody has their issues.


I went through something like that with my ex, as he was so negative about counseling - I didn't go either. I'll admit we had multiple issues.

With my current husband, even when he didn't think we needed counseling, I still went on my own.
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Old June 5th, 2017, 01:52 PM
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Knot2loud Knot2loud is offline
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Re: Love my husband - He drives me crazy!

Couch potatoes like to binge watch television and munch on potato chips. Maybe crash out on a recliner, drink soda or whatever beverage they prefer. Sitting idle makes a person sluggish and lazy.

The idea of getting up and moving for some is a challenge. My wife and I have been married for over three decades. We do have our moments of television in the evening, but the thing doesn't turn on until around 6pm - kind of an unwritten rule. Rainy days or being snowed in we think of something to do other than TV.

No... That is not the recipe for a successful marriage. If your husband won't get up and do something with you. I suggest you do something to occupy yourself. You're in an unfortunate situation. I'm sure you have talked to him about your frustration. Just keep talking... He just might eventually receive your message.
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Old June 8th, 2017, 06:08 AM
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Cremebrulee Cremebrulee is offline
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Re: Love my husband - He drives me crazy!

a marriage or any relationship for that matter is a constant work in progress.
We as human beings are forever changing, evolving, like the earth rotates, and we have to change with time....communicative exercises need to be incorporated into any relationship, to be a successful and productive one.

It is important to communicate feelings to each other, hurt or otherwise, and not take it as a personal attack. For instance, we need to sit down and communicate with each other, why that upset me....so that we understand each other and hopefully it doesn't happen again.

You hurt me b/c....when we were out with our friends, every time I tried to contribute to the conversation, you interrupted or over talked me, which made me feel inadequate...I know you didn't mean to do it, but I wanted to bring this to your attention, b/c it hurt my feelings. Please don't dismiss how I feel as nothing...it is something....and this is something we need to work on.

Why did you do that...?

So the next time we're out, with another couple or a group of people and I have something to offer to the conversation, which is important to me, please allow me to do so, without rolling your eyes or interrupting.


I believe counseling is in order, for your husband to learn how to be supportive and meet you half way. Sometimes we don't always feel like doing something, but when we finally do, it's fun...and makes others happy.
He needs to understand that...it's not always about what he wants...this is a partnership, or supposed to be.
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Old June 14th, 2017, 11:10 AM
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Knot2loud Knot2loud is offline
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Re: Love my husband - He drives me crazy!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cremebrulee View Post
We as human beings are forever changing, evolving....
Evolving... Yep. I'm evolving alright. Any idea how to un-evolve?
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Old August 14th, 2017, 04:44 PM
ChristianMartinez ChristianMartinez is offline
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Re: Love my husband - He drives me crazy!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LucyVanPelt View Post
This isn't how marriage "works." It's how marriages fail.

All marriages hit a rut and go through rough times. Committing to the marriage and doing the work to repair the damage is what makes these work long term.

Even though your husband will not go, you should go to a pro-marriage marriage counselor. A good one will help you with your communication skills. When you change, his response to you will also change.
I agree
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