Top 10 Marriage Mistakes

[memyselfandi]

My hubby does about half of these. Being married for a mere three years and him living half way across the country working for the Railroad doesn't help much in learning how to live with your spouse!!

I do the best I can. However, he's so used to living by himself most of the time that he forgets how to get along with me.

If there's anything I hate more is when a person runs from an argument and that's the biggest one here!! If he doesn't like something I say, he just plain hangs up on me and won't answer his phone; and won't answer any texts I send.

The next day we might talk, but there are no apologies on his part for hanging up on me..the problem just rolls into this big black hole.

Surprisingly, every now and then he'll be willing to talk about a problem..yet most of the time..nope. He's right.

I won't even get into his so called "hurt feelings" part here, as that is for a different post in another area.

Thanks for the list..I've printed it. Makes so much sense~!!

[Randall]

I have a hard time being honest. It's not big lies. It's little white lies. For example. My wife and I are driving back from Maryland and I'm a little tired because I have not had my morning caffeine. She keeps saying I'm tired I keep saying no. I am tired. So I guess I'm fibbing. Any suggestions on how to get this out of me?

[Catwoman]

If only men could work out that their wife is always right,their lives would be so much simpler really lol. Instead of arguing with us just agree!!, you will save yourself a lot of counsel lol.

[KayKay]

Originally Posted by Randall

I have a hard time being honest. It's not big lies. It's little white lies. For example. My wife and I are driving back from Maryland and I'm a little tired because I have not had my morning caffeine. She keeps saying I'm tired I keep saying no. I am tired. So I guess I'm fibbing. Any suggestions on how to get this out of me?

I think you need to figure out *why* you are fibbing, and work on that. For example, why don't you want your wife to know that you are tired? There are lots of good reasons - you don't want her to worry, or feel bad (if she was the reason you didn't get your morning caffeine). There are also some not-so-bad reasons - you want her to see you as strong and not someone who relies on caffeine to get going, or you are anxious to get home and don't want to stop. There are some reasons that might need addressing - you think she'll be mad at you for needing caffeine, or it will upset her that you have to stop for some coffee.

Mostly, you need to trust your wife enough that you can tell her the full truth instead of the fibs. In the long run, you don't want her to lose trust in you.

[Knot2loud]

Originally Posted by Randall

I have a hard time being honest. It's not big lies. It's little white lies. For example. My wife and I are driving back from Maryland and I'm a little tired because I have not had my morning caffeine. She keeps saying I'm tired I keep saying no. I am tired. So I guess I'm fibbing. Any suggestions on how to get this out of me?

Yes... If you're tired... You're tired. You're human, not super human. Just be up front... Your wife will respect that and she won't have to guess anymore. If you have to... Think before you speak - that's a pretty good rule. A lot of people just spew things out as soon as there mouth opens... blah, blah, blah and it's nothing but BS little lies as if everyone within earshot doesn't know it's BS.

Just focus of telling the truth. Life is soooo much easier then.

There's one exception... If you're wife is shopping and you don't wanna be there and she's trying on a zebra stripped blouse that's two sizes to small and she asks what you think of it... Just tell her: "It looks great! Buy it and return it tomorrow. Can we go now? I need food."

[PeeWeeMomOf3]

Originally Posted by knot2loud

ran across this little gem while reading an article about marriage. Thought i would share since i have seen similar situations/problems crop up on this forum.

Top 10 marriage mistakes.

1. lack of respect

don't badmouth your spouse to your friends or associates. Spouses need to be thanked. They need to know they are appreciated.

2. not listening to your spouse

this includes allowing your mind to wander, paying more attention to the computer or television set, ignoring body language, and interrupting. Expecting your spouse to be a mind reader is another big communication mistake.

Communicate: Lack of communication is a primary reason marriages fail. Couples have to learn to communicate and listen to one another effectively.


3. lack of sexual intimacy

this is a death knell for a marriage. Seek medical counsel and therapeutic counseling if necessary. Don't leave your spouse wondering why you aren't interested in sex.

4. always having to be right

this includes lecturing your mate, or having to have the last word. Very few people can love a know-it-all forever. Admit when you make a mistake or that you don't have all the answers. Don't answer every simple question with a long-winded dissertation on the topic.

5. not walking the talk

actions do speak louder than words. When you say you'll do something, do it. When you say you won't do something, follow through.

6. hurtful teasing

if your spouse says the teasing is hurtful, considers it a put down, or thinks that it is inappropriate, then stop it. Claiming that your spouse doesn't have a sense of humor or is too sensitive is being inconsiderate and unkind.

7. dishonesty

having lies and secrets in your relationship can create distance and lack of trust between the two of you.

8. being annoying

this includes continuing to have gross personal hygiene habits, or always being late, or nitpicking everything your spouse does, etc. It is when you know you are annoying and you continue to annoy.

9. being selfish or greedy

this is when you spend money on yourself, but make a big deal if your spouse spends a dime. This is not wanting to open your home to friends and family because you prefer to be alone and don't want the hassle of entertaining. This is hogging the remote, only going to cheap restaurants when you could afford better, or not watching movies your spouse wants to see.

10. having temper tantrums

every couple needs to be able to handle conflict in a constructive way. Having an angry outburst so that you can win an argument will make you the loser in the end.

excellent!

[skyisthelimit]

Originally Posted by Knot2loud

2. Not Listening to Your Spouse

This includes allowing your mind to wander, paying more attention to the computer or television set, ignoring body language, and interrupting. Expecting your spouse to be a mind reader is another big communication mistake.

Communicate: Lack of communication is a primary reason marriages fail. Couples have to learn to communicate and listen to one another effectively.


4. Always Having to Be Right

This includes lecturing your mate, or having to have the last word. Very few people can love a know-it-all forever. Admit when you make a mistake or that you don't have all the answers. Don't answer every simple question with a long-winded dissertation on the topic.

5. Not Walking the Talk

Actions do speak louder than words. When you say you'll do something, do it. When you say you won't do something, follow through.

Having issues with these 3 for the past month.