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  #11  
Old August 13th, 2017, 04:28 AM
gewibongew gewibongew is offline
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Re: Need opinions about my situation with my parents!! Please help

I never quite considered him as a role model .
About my gfs father,no ,never. He's very familist. Always devoted to his 2 girls, whever they need. Although him and their mother are divorced, they get involved 100% in her and her sister's life. They feel like a family,to me,anyway.
But please, about what i've asked before, could you please give me a detailed answer?
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  #12  
Old August 13th, 2017, 05:11 AM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Need opinions about my situation with my parents!! Please help

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Originally Posted by gewibongew View Post
Also, how do i do so i don't take ANY habbit from them? I want to be the exact opposite,as a parent.
KayKay is doing a great job, so I read and did not reply. I agree with everything she is saying.

You may not see your stepfather as a role-model, but your anger is modeling his behavior. You probably are doing this automatically, just reflecting the emotion you are seeing. You have to become more aware that you do this and very purposely control your own emotions. Look to other men and consciously try to adopt their reactions when they are dealing with stress. Practice it in your imagination.

The second question--
Quote:
Also,Am I the one to blame for all these situations? Because afterwards,their response to all that was "Other parents would just have beat the crap out of you for what you did."
You are not to blame for these situations. You have a part in it when you're not doing your chores, but you don't deserve to be beaten or have trash dumped all over your room. Your stepfather is mean and, imo, abusive. You can't change him. You can't fix him. The best you can do is to be compliant where you can be, like taking out the trash quickly, and get things together so you can move out after graduation.
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  #13  
Old August 13th, 2017, 11:59 AM
gewibongew gewibongew is offline
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Re: Need opinions about my situation with my parents!! Please help

Thank you for your response..
You know, it's kinda hard to even think that I'm not to blame when All i hear from them is how every friend of them approves them. After a while, you really start to feel like the problem is at you...And it sucks...
But thanks tho!
At least now I am sure of what I have to do in the following year ,what I have to improve, and that I don't need to get involved emotionally anymore. I will just do things out and that's it. After that, get along with my life and bye bye. As little contact as possible
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  #14  
Old August 13th, 2017, 05:06 PM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Need opinions about my situation with my parents!! Please help

Quote:
Originally Posted by gewibongew View Post
You know, it's kinda hard to even think that I'm not to blame when All i hear from them is how every friend of them approves them. After a while, you really start to feel like the problem is at you...And it sucks...
Abusers always blame their victims. Sometimes they try to hide their abuse behind other's approval, whether it's true or not. It doesn't matter who approves or doesn't; you do not deserve to have trash dumped in your room just because you wouldn't take it out.

Quote:
At least now I am sure of what I have to do in the following year ,what I have to improve, and that I don't need to get involved emotionally anymore. I will just do things out and that's it. After that, get along with my life and bye bye. As little contact as possible
You understand what to do: detach emotionally, do what you are asked, plan your exit, and do little contact for your own protection.

I wish you the best. (((hugs)))
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Old August 13th, 2017, 05:18 PM
gewibongew gewibongew is offline
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Re: Need opinions about my situation with my parents!! Please help

Thank you so much, to you and to KayKay!!
You really helped me these days. Thank you so much. I wish you only the best
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