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  #21  
Old April 23rd, 2013, 05:22 PM
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Re: bad daughter

Snafu, i think they genuinely forget how difficult it is to fit everything in when you work full time and have other responsibilities.

My older relatives certainly don't have a good handle on this and haven't for at least a decade. There is nothing you can do about it, beyond saying "I can't manage a whole weekend, i can manage a single day".

I think the guilt comes with the job.
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  #22  
Old April 25th, 2013, 03:21 PM
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Re: bad daughter

baglady, DM = Dear/Darling Mom


My DM has health/medical issues and doesn't travel. Additionally - I have to pick her up & the driving (3 hours round trip) + loading, unloading (to come), then reloading & unloading (back at her home) with another 3 hour round trip ... I can't do it & enjoy myself anymore - I need long weekends to do it (get her on a Thurs & take her back Sun or Mon)

When I subbed, I could arrange a job where I got off by 2:30 & could go get her .... now I get off work after 4 & with traffic I'd be on the road until 6:30/7 just to get to her place, I'd get home by 9 - at the earliest
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  #23  
Old May 13th, 2013, 05:41 PM
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Re: bad daughter




DM hasn't been feeling well & Mother's Day was .... well, it could have been better.

The highlight was going to DQ


I don't like the taste of diet or generic soda- so DM got grummpy because I wouldn't drink her generic diet soda. I also got grummped at because I don't like casseroles and didn't want to eat her store bought one with "cheese".

I also took her to the store & she'd want my opinion about something that I had no clue about and I would tell her that - she'd keep asking the same question (just worded differently) and I kept giving her the same answer -it got old -

In the future I'm going to do something I enjoy - and I'm not going to force DS to spend hours on the road, just to hear his g-ma complain about my food preferences/likes/dislikes; we can visit her another time - for the next few years I'm doing Mother's Day differently (once DS is out of school we'll see what happens)
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  #24  
Old May 14th, 2013, 05:43 AM
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Re: bad daughter

I had to laugh a little about this... Sorry snafu - Not directed at you, but at your dilemma.

My mother bought me a 6-pack of Ensure. After she took a tumble and hurt herself - she ended up staying in a rehab for a couple of weeks. They gave her a can of Ensure every morning with her breakfast. She said it gave her lots of energy and helped her feel good.

I imagine it did. Well, she talked about it and tried to convince me to buy the stuff. I looked at it, read the label and decided I didn't really need it. I told her but she insisted I get some. I never did. Finally she bought me a 6-pack and gave it to me. She asked me several times if I had drank any yet. My answer was always "no, I don't really have a need for it." Finally, after a couple of months she quit asking. I think she's still a little miffed over it. <shrug>

My wife asked me the other day if I was going to drink the stuff - "No, I don't have a need for it."

I think I'll pawn it off on one of my daughters. Or maybe bring it to work and set it on the "up for grabs" table in the breakroom.
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  #25  
Old December 29th, 2013, 09:44 AM
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Re: bad daughter

This X-mas was fine.

Even though DM was not feeling well, we were both relaxed ... and no grumping at each other


DM also said she thinks this will be her last X-mas here as she's getting too old and it takes too much effort for her to come here. (as in it takes her a few months to totally recover from getting so exhausted)


My OS and her two youngest DDs are visiting DM this weekend (the weekend after X-mas) OS didn't say anything about it to DM until the week before X-mas. DM (understandably) would like more notice, I did her grocery shopping for her as she was too worn out to do it herself.
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  #26  
Old December 30th, 2013, 08:30 AM
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Re: bad daughter

Glad you had a good time with your mom.
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  #27  
Old October 28th, 2014, 05:05 PM
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Re: bad daughter

a year later and mom's already been told by my OS that she's used all of her vacation time and won't be visiting during the holidays (she's not seen mom at all this year)


mom doesn't know if my twin & her family will come see her either (nephew works when he's not in college). Mom's not seen them for some time either.



Now that DS is in high school he'd rather do stuff with friends than with grandma (unless she's up to going to certain places)
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  #28  
Old October 28th, 2014, 06:04 PM
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Re: bad daughter

It can be a very sad stage of life, I'm afraid.
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  #29  
Old October 28th, 2014, 06:19 PM
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Re: bad daughter

It is a sad stage.

Although DS would rather do something with friends, I think it's important to spend some time with grandma. He should listen to her stories. That's his "inheritance."
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  #30  
Old October 29th, 2014, 05:59 AM
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Re: bad daughter

Unfortunately, young people live for today. My older Gdau, who is now 17, only comes over to use our computer or when tensions blow with her mom. But, we get to see her anyway.
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