Go Back   Friends and Family Forum > The Family Forum > Other

Other A place to discuss any other family member or have general family discussions

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old January 4th, 2018, 09:36 AM
Rphillips52 Rphillips52 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 8
Rphillips52 is on a distinguished road
Thoughts on elderly caregivers

Before I start this I'd like to wish everyone a happy new year! I do hope your holidays were all enjoyable. Our house was packed to maximum occupancy but our festivities went on smoothly. (Might talk about them in detail in a future post). One thing that has been on my mind since everyone left is the "issue" of a sole or major caregiver in a family being someone who's fairly ahead in years. During the holidays I had a cousin of mine who at 78 is the sole caregiver in her family caring for her husband who is recovering from a heart attack as well as her 102 year old mother (the sister of grandma and great uncle who live with me) yes I know we last pretty long especially on my mother's side hahaha!

On top of that my cousin is also a primary caregiver of her school aged great grandson who she watches over while his parents work. The family and I at home are still weighing the many options on how we can help but have yet to reach a definite solution. To me a situation like this is fairly unheard of in my family as my more immediate relatives are always taken care of either by younger able bodied family members or professional help. I am a personal believer that a person over 65 is at that part of their life where they ought to take it easy but at the same time I also believe that family should take care of each other. What do all of you feel about the situation of an elderly person being a sole caretaker of a family including small children and even older people. I look forward to your responses
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old January 4th, 2018, 10:21 AM
KayKay's Avatar
KayKay KayKay is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 16,164
KayKay has a reputation beyond reputeKayKay has a reputation beyond reputeKayKay has a reputation beyond reputeKayKay has a reputation beyond reputeKayKay has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Thoughts on elderly caregivers

I'd say it depends on the 78 year old.

If she can easily take care of kids and elderly people, more power to her! I'm in my 50's and I couldn't do it. LOL. If she wants to do it and is able to do it, I don't see a problem with it.

I do some volunteer work in an assisted living facility, and there is one older woman (probably in her 70's) who was a caregiver for a man in his 90's until he died, and now is a caregiver for a man in his upper 90's/early 100's. I can't say I don't hold my breath whenever the man stands up and starts to tip over, but she always manages to steady him. She's good at what she does, and I'm glad she does it.
__________________
Expecto Patronum!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old January 4th, 2018, 11:20 AM
LucyVanPelt's Avatar
LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,446
LucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Thoughts on elderly caregivers

My mother is much younger than 78 and she still works and cares for a special needs child. I believe this keeps her young and active. It gives purpose to her life. If I were to suggest that she "ought to take it easy," she'd be insulted and accuse me of trying to put her out to pasture.

Let them be as active as they want to be for as long as they can be.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old January 4th, 2018, 01:58 PM
snafu's Avatar
snafu snafu is offline
future crazy cat lady
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Mid-west
Posts: 9,852
snafu has a reputation beyond reputesnafu has a reputation beyond reputesnafu has a reputation beyond reputesnafu has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Thoughts on elderly caregivers

How's her health and abilities?
__________________
once burned, twice shy

He who ignores history is condemed to repeat it!
(it also means you weren't smart enough to learn from your mistakes )
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old January 15th, 2018, 12:55 PM
Rphillips52 Rphillips52 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 8
Rphillips52 is on a distinguished road
Re: Thoughts on elderly caregivers

Apologies for the late reply all... Had I answered the question regarding the my cousin's health at the moment it was asked I would have said it was fine or possibly slightly better than someone her age. However a few days after my original post, she had quite the health scare as she collapsed due to exhaustion. Fortunately her husband was able to call for help almost immediately without alerting my elderly great aunt who was asleep. Both husband and wife were sent to hospital ( as they did precautionary checks on the husband as he recently had heart issues and kept my cousin a couple of days). The kids were unreachable as they were at work. It was a great shock to my great aunt as she awoke to an emergency service worker overwhelming her with questions. Thankfully my sister had left our contact information and to our relief great aunt was able to recall that our details were written on a note left on the fridge!

So we were promptly called over and I went with my brother and brother in law to pack up certain things to bring to the hospital and to bring my great aunt over to our place as she could not be alone. Fortunately that was easier than expected due to her still being able to walk mostly unaided. After my cousin and her husband were both discharged from hospital they decided that it would be best that the three stay with us for the foreseeable future and decided that they may no longer provide full time care for their grandson. I personally wouldn't think it would be safe for 3 people of old age and health issues to be living unattended while caring for a child. While this has cause some inconvenience and some slight friction with their kids as we live half an hour away and they can't drop their child off after school, We still feel that having them over would be at least for now the safer option.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old January 25th, 2018, 05:00 AM
Cremebrulee's Avatar
Cremebrulee Cremebrulee is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 954
Cremebrulee has much to be proud ofCremebrulee has much to be proud ofCremebrulee has much to be proud of
Re: Thoughts on elderly caregivers

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rphillips52 View Post
Before I start this I'd like to wish everyone a happy new year! I do hope your holidays were all enjoyable. Our house was packed to maximum occupancy but our festivities went on smoothly. (Might talk about them in detail in a future post). One thing that has been on my mind since everyone left is the "issue" of a sole or major caregiver in a family being someone who's fairly ahead in years. During the holidays I had a cousin of mine who at 78 is the sole caregiver in her family caring for her husband who is recovering from a heart attack as well as her 102 year old mother (the sister of grandma and great uncle who live with me) yes I know we last pretty long especially on my mother's side hahaha!

On top of that my cousin is also a primary caregiver of her school aged great grandson who she watches over while his parents work. The family and I at home are still weighing the many options on how we can help but have yet to reach a definite solution. To me a situation like this is fairly unheard of in my family as my more immediate relatives are always taken care of either by younger able bodied family members or professional help. I am a personal believer that a person over 65 is at that part of their life where they ought to take it easy but at the same time I also believe that family should take care of each other. What do all of you feel about the situation of an elderly person being a sole caretaker of a family including small children and even older people. I look forward to your responses
Being a caregiver at times, can certainly try one's patience, resolve, and sometimes, you've got to reach way deep down inside for that inner strength to survive it...the person your taking care of, can be rather difficult, stubborn, and sometimes, verbally abusive. Understandably, as their independence is slowly being chipped away from them. It certainly isn't a fun job, but, we all get there at some point in our lives.

In my experience, with discussing this situation with others, and even reading online stories, it seems that there is always one person in the family that does most of the work....

So, my suggestion would be, in your case, the entire family could chip in and help, giving the caregiver a much needed break.

The men could help with yard work, others could drive her to doctor's appointments...

Maybe call a family meeting and assign people days, times and chores so no stone is left un-turned. That way, everyone in the family pitches in and takes the kids where they need to be, or picks them up...etc.

If you just do it word of mouth, everyone seems to say, yes, and maybe shows up one or two times, but then conveniently forgets to help as time goes by.

But by calling the family together, and saying, OK, I need some help here, what days and times are you available and design a grid, then make copies and give it out to everyone who agrees to help.

It could be made up weekly or monthly...?
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old January 25th, 2018, 08:33 AM
Cremebrulee's Avatar
Cremebrulee Cremebrulee is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 954
Cremebrulee has much to be proud ofCremebrulee has much to be proud ofCremebrulee has much to be proud of
Re: Thoughts on elderly caregivers

I also wanted to add, that by everyone chipping in and helping with the children, driving back and forth, it would be a good time to bond with them and also give them different ideas and perspectives to carry with them through life?
Just thinking out loud. LOL
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:06 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2007, The BlueSparks Network