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Old April 16th, 2018, 03:06 AM
rattlesnake rattlesnake is offline
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Found out I have a new cousin!

I've never really been into studying ancestry, have not really cared to know where I came from. But you can get a DNA kit that will tell you your heritage and may also tell you who your close relatives are.

So to get to the story, one of my brothers who had this DNA testing says a woman contacted him saying she is our 1st cousin.

Not possible! This is not upsetting to me or anything like that, but it is shocking because of the kind of family I have. But first bro was telling me it appeared to be from my Mom's side and I thought of her siblings (all deceased and so is my mother and her parents) and their situations and it is/was not possible that any of them had a baby the year that woman was born (and gave up for adoption).

Well it turns out it was on my father's side and when we finally got more details about the story and which Aunt was her mother, the pieces fit and it was in fact possible. We also learned that it was more than the DNA test that led to this as the woman was searching for her bio family and hired a private detective (probably among other measures). So, now I have this information and what I have been told so far is that my Aunt will not acknowledge this! She is the ONLY living sibling of my father, and my father is gone too.

So I certainly am not going to be one to contribute to any family turmoil. If my aunt never willingly acknowledges this daughter she gave up, I guess I can't talk about it except to my brother and on an anonymous forum! I usually see the Aunt once a year, and treasure seeing her as she is the only sibling left from my father's family and there are none left on my mother's side. I'm going to guess her two daughters (the cousins we have always known) do NOT know about this either. I'm quite close to one of them and we talk on the phone several times a year, but see each other usually only once a year when she brings her parents to the reunion. I will never bring this up unless they bring it up first, of course. But I am a curious person and now I want to know more and more about the life of the cousin I have but never had a chance to know. Life is strange. I suppose this is not at all uncommon, but it is still shocking to me. I know generations change, but I wish my Aunt and her family would understand nobody today would likely judge her and she does not have to be ashamed and deny a decision or circumstance that happened when she was a teenager.
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Old April 16th, 2018, 05:12 AM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Found out I have a new cousin!

I have a sister that my mother gave up years ago. She found us through a little research and facebook. I enjoyed getting to know her. She had a very different upbringing than we did.

When she found us, though, we went to our mother together to tell her. It was up to her to decide if she wanted a relationship with this daughter. It turned out that she had been waiting for her a long time.
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Old April 16th, 2018, 11:58 AM
rattlesnake rattlesnake is offline
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Re: Found out I have a new cousin!

Thanks for sharing that, Lucy! Like I said, obviously if there is to be any "relationship" with my Aunt, my Aunt would have to decide that. She is up in her 80s now and I know this "young" (62 years old) woman DID recently contact her, from what I gather my Aunt did not acknowledge or admit to having a baby back then.
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Old April 16th, 2018, 06:51 PM
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Re: Found out I have a new cousin!

Back in the day that your Aunt had the baby, didn't they have closed adoptions?
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Old April 16th, 2018, 06:56 PM
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Re: Found out I have a new cousin!

Wouldn't 60 yr. ago been the late 50s?
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Old April 16th, 2018, 10:01 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: Found out I have a new cousin!

Yes, that's why I was asking. It was before my time, but I thought that many adoptions were closed adoptions back then.
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Old April 17th, 2018, 03:37 AM
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Re: Found out I have a new cousin!

Quote:
Originally Posted by KayKay View Post
Yes, that's why I was asking. It was before my time, but I thought that many adoptions were closed adoptions back then.
My mom's situation was a little different. My sister was given to her father's family to raise. She always knew my mother's name. This was not the usual situation, though. Most of the children adopted through the unwed mother's home have NO information what-so-ever.
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