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Old October 31st, 2018, 05:22 PM
Pad Pad is offline
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Despondency

I am feeling very down in the past few days. I feel like I am not getting along with anybody. Upon thinking back to my life in the past ten years, I cannot recollect being truly and fully happy.

Recently, I tried to activate Anti-Bullying. However, I found that it can sometimes backfire. I have learned a lot in this process, but am still feeling pained by all my recent interactions, etc.

I really do not know what will make me happy and what I truly want.
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Old November 1st, 2018, 05:28 AM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Despondency

Hi, Pad, Welcome back!

I'm sorry that you do not feel happy, don't know what will make you happy, or know what you want.

A few things may be affecting you.

First, there's enormous pressure from the culture to always be happy. This isn't true, and it's not possible. There are appropriate times to be happy, sad, and just flat.

If you spend too much time being sad for long periods of time for no reason, or just flat, enough that you cannot function (sleeping too much, finding it impossible to get dressed or shower, etc), then you need to find help because you may have a mood disorder. Because of what you've shared: not getting along with other's right now, anti-bullying that backfired, and being able to recollect feeling happy for a long time, you may want to go to your doctor and be evaluated for low-mood depression. Treatment usually involves talk-therapy, self-help (usually journaling, being mindful of self-talk), and meds.


You may actually just have a melancholic personality. You can google it and see if it fits you. Then you can work on both accepting yourself, and working on behaviors that will help you overcome some of the challenges of that personality.

Lastly, stop focusing on finding your "passion." We have so many choices, that we can't choose just one, and the stress of finding the perfect thing can be overwhelming. Ever see kids cry because they can't decide if they want the cup or don't want the cup? That happens to us adults, too. Find something you like to do and just do it.

Good luck!
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Old November 1st, 2018, 04:39 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: Despondency

And to add to Lucy's good advice, also go to your doctor to rule out any physical issues. There are certain hormonal issues (for example - hypothyroidism) that can contribute to those negative feelings.
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Old November 2nd, 2018, 02:02 PM
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Re: Despondency

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pad View Post
I am feeling very down in the past few days. I feel like I am not getting along with anybody. Upon thinking back to my life in the past ten years, I cannot recollect being truly and fully happy.

Recently, I tried to activate Anti-Bullying. However, I found that it can sometimes backfire. I have learned a lot in this process, but am still feeling pained by all my recent interactions, etc.

I really do not know what will make me happy and what I truly want.
This is what I read every morning that helps me:

Invictus
BY WILLIAM ERNEST HENLEY
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
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  #5  
Old November 6th, 2018, 11:45 AM
Pad Pad is offline
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Re: Despondency

Hi, All!

Thank you for all your sweet and lovely help!

As you have all been so caring and generous, I would like to update all of you that I really implemented your wise advice to DO, instead of excessively pondering over what I want to do and whether I can be any good at it.

I was further nudged into this perspective by talking with my close male friend, who was telling me that he spends long periods of time reflecting on whether there is a God and consequently why He May abandon us at difficult times. I advised my friend that sometimes pondering over God and death can depress us; that I have often been inquisitive over the existence of God, death, destiny vs. free will, etc. However, in the end, I stopped thinking of death (a matter that can depress and devastate us) and decided to adopt the technique of playwriting my own destiny through free will! Hence, I am translating my thought into ACTION!

Lucy, so your advice is in-sync with my own panacea: “Ditch the dream, and be a doer, not a dreamer!”-Shonda Rhymes
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Old November 17th, 2018, 02:55 PM
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Re: Despondency

Pad- have you followed up with a dr?


Does your employer have an employee assistance program? If so, my advice is to check it out.

As my friends here in cyberspace can attest I've had issues with depression for years. It takes time to find the right fit (counselors), etc... Just like shoes, you usually need to try several until you find the right fit/style that works for you.


Don't give up, feeling better will take some work - and if you backslide, its ok

btdt
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