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Old December 7th, 2011, 10:02 AM
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snafu snafu is offline
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play "happy family"



DM still wants me to play happy family for her - OS sent DSD a "friend request" on face book, DSD declined - they've never met.

DM is of the opinion that OS is just trying to find a way to "stay in touch" - I didn't say this, but I have a phone (both home & cell) that work - and she has my numbers, if OS was really interested in me she could call - snail mail still works too. {I won't give OS my e-mail as in the past she filled the in box with a ton of SPAM - not communication}


What I did tell DM was that OS wasn't really interested in me, as she never wants to have a conversation, but talks continously. Anytime I try to contribute, she interupts/talks over me, etc. and she doesn't talk with me, but just talks - she wants an audience.


Next time - and I know there will be a next time - should I just tell DM if OS really wanted contact she'd call/write?
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Old December 7th, 2011, 10:22 AM
Brownie Brownie is offline
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Re: play "happy family"

I think that would be my approach. Maybe remind your mom that she has your phone number and address.
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Old December 7th, 2011, 10:56 AM
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Re: play "happy family"

I'd tell DM that you don't think that FB is the right vehicle for maintaining a relationship with your OS.
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Old December 7th, 2011, 11:52 AM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: play "happy family"

Is this an example of triangulation?

At this point, I would thank DM for her opinion and then do what I want. You and OS are too old to have DM being the message center. Instead of explaining to DM (yes, you can skip JADE here, too!), if you are of the mind to, you can call OS directly. Or not.
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Old December 7th, 2011, 01:14 PM
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Re: play "happy family"

I think DM is still in the mind set that I have to go along to get along (I don't know if you remember I was the family "peace keeper"...but discovered that I was doing is correctly labled a "passive enabler").

Since I quit enabling behavior - DM still pushes at times...
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Old December 14th, 2011, 10:46 AM
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Re: play "happy family"

It will probably take a while before your DM fully adjusts to the nedw role you have created for yourself. She will probably push less and less the more you stick to your guns.
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