What would you do?

[KayKay]

I have a good friend who, unfortunately, does not have the best grammar and spelling skills. Not that I do, but let's ignore that for now.

She is in a parent-volunteer position with my kids' school that sometimes requires that she send home flyers, notes, etc. Recently she sent one out that she showed me and asked "What do you think?" before she sent it. She showed it to me at a point when it would have been difficult for her to change things.

I read it for content, and it was fine... she said everything that needed to be said, and said it in a nice way, etc. which is what I think she was asking.

But... *shudder*... the spelling errors and the grammar... "threw" for "through", run-on-sentences, mixed tenses, misplaced commas all over, "We been" versus "We have been", etc.

I told her it was fine, and kept my mouth shut about the errors. Should I have done that?

The note was going home to other parents. It wasn't a formal document or anything that will be published. It wasn't all that important, either. It just made her come across as less intelligent than she is. I hate the thought of other people looking down on her when she is SO NICE and such a hard working volunteer.

What I don't know is how many other parents are as psycho as me about that kind of thing. I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to embarrass her for something that doesn't matter, and I don't know that it matters. Maybe I'm too big of a snob...

What would y'all do?

[elaine]

KayKay,

I don't think you are a snob. I don't think there is much you can do at this point, though. It appears to late to do anything now. To be honest, I'm not sure what I would have done. You don't want to embarrass her, but you don't want her flyer to end up on Jay Leno's Headlines, either. That's a tough call when it's for the school, because really, parents want to think that people involved with their children and their educations could put a sentence together.

If you think it will come up again, maybe you can volunteer to assist her next time. The truth is, when the flyers go out, she'll probably here something about it from someone, anyway. There are always people out there that can't resist pointed out someone else's mistakes.

[Beth]

I think I would have asked her if she minded if I made a few suggestions. Not everyone can spell or knows their grammar. I make mistakes too at times when I am hurried or frustrated. If you approach it respectfully, I don't think it would be a problem. For myself, I like it when someone else puts their eyes on something before I send it out. I often ask others to proof what I write prior to sending out for the world to read. We all need help at times. Just a suggestion.

And my spell check etc is not working on my computer. That's another problem.

[1dilwhosreal]

My family surprised me with a 40th birthday party this weekend-- Yeah! The central theme was a roast, BOOO! And I was most nervous because my best friend in the world was there and she knows every embarrassing thing I ever did-- mostly because she was there to stop me. I really am grateful to her because she spoke up when I was about to make a mistake. I hated her honesty sometimes at the moment, but we sure laughed about them Saturday night.

What's my point?

I think that you should correct her in the future. She may not like it at the time, but if she knows you're saying it because you've got her back, you'll be able to laugh later about it.

[marwahad]

i also think that its better to have a nice conversation in which u should try to correct her about this . i also sometimes do this but their is somebody who corrects me

[Another Disheartened DIL]

Since she asked for your input, I don't see a problem with discussing the errors. If she asked for your help and you "correct" the errors in a light hearted and gentle manner, I don't think she would have a problem with it. Instead of pointedly correcting each mistake, make a joke about how many “threws” and “their’s” there are and how it can be difficult to remember when to use each one. By taking a more “helpful” (caring) tone rather than a “teacher type” tone, I’d think she would actually be appreciative for your input.

The way I see it, either way she’d probably be embarrassed. If you pointed out the errors, she might be a little bit embarrassed in front of you. By not correcting it, she may be embarrassed by several other not so kind or tactful parents. While some people could care less (or not even notice) the mistakes, others are bothered by them and may or may not keep their mouth shut.