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Other friendships Best friends, ex-friends, or any other friends

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Old October 8th, 2007, 12:25 PM
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Real Friendships

What does a real friendship look like?

Is it still a friendship when things become one sided? When one person is doing more to keep the friendship alive?
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Old October 9th, 2007, 09:21 AM
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Re: Real Friendships

I have been best friends with L for 30 yrs. We have very different lives. I travel with my DH, she is a SAHM with 5 children. There have been times over these 30 yrs where each of us has had to do more than the other one could at the time. But thru it all we both know that no matter what all we have to do is call and the other one will be there.
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Old October 10th, 2007, 07:18 PM
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Re: Real Friendships

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Originally Posted by Indigo View Post
What does a real friendship look like?

Is it still a friendship when things become one sided? When one person is doing more to keep the friendship alive?
I had a friend for most my life. It became one-sided the last 15 years. I think we grew apart, went in different directions. It happens, sadly. We talk once in awhile, but the friendship has suffered. I don't completely understand it, but have accepted it.
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Old October 11th, 2007, 06:05 AM
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Re: Real Friendships

I think friendship is very important. I have two friends that I've had for almost a lifetime.

One I've been friends with since I was 11. I moved when my mom remarried when I was 14, but we kept in touch and stayed close. Now we talk maybe once a year even though we're probably 10 minutes drive from each other. She's busy with her family, and I am with mine. But if we needed each other, we'd be there in a heartbeat.

My other friend and I talk when one of has a problem or has some "news" to share. We laugh and carry on, just like we did when we were in highschool. But, again, we're both busy, and so don't see each other much.

The thing about these friendships is that we understand what we need to maintain them. And we meet each other's expectations. When we don't, we talk about it, fix it, and move on.

If you have a friend that consistently takes more than you can give, and doesn't meet your expectations, then it's time to have a talk, just like in other relationships. It might be time to make a change, end the friendship, or just let it drift away. Or you might find that you become much closer because now you both know what the expectations and needs are.
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Old October 11th, 2007, 01:07 PM
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Re: Real Friendships

Quote:
Originally Posted by Indigo View Post
What does a real friendship look like?

Is it still a friendship when things become one sided? When one person is doing more to keep the friendship alive?
Let's see if I can articulate this.

IMO, real friendship is when you don't keep track. Once you start keeping track, the friendship is on it's way downhill.

I have a woman I consider a true friend who lives a few houses down from me. I think (not sure) that we can go weeks without seeing each other, although we talk anywhere from five times per day to once a week. We don't really keep track.

Earlier this week I found myself in a horrible bind - someone fell through on their end of a bargain, and as a result I'm having to be in two cities (2 hours apart) at the same time. DS has an away game, DD has a home game, both need rides home, DH out of town.

I called my friend in tears and explained the situation. She said "No problem. I'll pick up your DD." She doesn't even have a kid in my kid's school, and she's going to have to leave her DS's football game to do it, but there was no hesitation at all. She insisted "No problem. I'll do it."

Today I was talking to her and thanking her for the umpteenth time for helping me out, and said "I can't believe I ask you for that help." She said "Are you kidding???!!! It's the least I can do! Three weeks ago I called you and said that my GM had just died and I was going to drop my bawling kids (who hadn't eaten yet btw) off at your house so I could go help my M. You didn't skip a beat! You ordered pizza and comforted my kids."

I had completely forgotten about that. That, to me, is true friendship.
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Old January 8th, 2008, 03:48 PM
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thesmartfisherman.com thesmartfisherman.com is offline
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Re: Real Friendships

Quote:
Originally Posted by KayKay View Post
Let's see if I can articulate this.

IMO, real friendship is when you don't keep track. Once you start keeping track, the friendship is on it's way downhill.
Well Said.

When two people are TRUE friends it is very much like when a man and woman are in love. It is a relationship based on selflessness, trust and respect. There will be times that one is "in need". A true friend does not have to think about giving of himself/herself when that is what is needed.

Are you ready for the bad news?

To have a TRUE friend you must first be a True friend. That is easier said than done because true friendship is an act of love. The slightest feeling of jealousy or inequity will be the end of the friendship.

Those feelings alone are the destruction of the friendship.
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Old April 21st, 2008, 01:42 PM
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Thumbs up Re: Real Friendships

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." -- Bernard Meltzer.
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