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Old September 8th, 2007, 07:57 PM
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Did your best friend say or do something that ended your friendship?

I knew someone over 40 years. I thought she was a good friend, but through the years, I realized she wasn't the friend I thought she was. I was deeply hurt and we have never repaired the friendship. We do run into each other or speak on occasion, but it's not the same. I was wondering if anyone else had this experience.
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Old September 8th, 2007, 08:09 PM
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Re: Did your best friend say or do something that ended your friendship?

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Originally Posted by Beth View Post
I knew someone over 40 years. I thought she was a good friend, but through the years, I realized she wasn't the friend I thought she was. I was deeply hurt and we have never repaired the friendship. We do run into each other or speak on occasion, but it's not the same. I was wondering if anyone else had this experience.
Most definitely - my daughter was in our room the other day crying - that friends from school didn't contact her as much as she thought they should have over the summer...

My DH and I said, "You see our yearbooks downstairs - - - how often do you see us looking through them - or talking to or about anyone in them?"

If you have 4 life long friends - you are incredibly blessed - most people don't even have 2.
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Old September 8th, 2007, 08:29 PM
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Re: Did your best friend say or do something that ended your friendship?

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Originally Posted by 1DH+4Kids=Happyus View Post
Most definitely - my daughter was in our room the other day crying - that friends from school didn't contact her as much as she thought they should have over the summer...

My DH and I said, "You see our yearbooks downstairs - - - how often do you see us looking through them - or talking to or about anyone in them?"

If you have 4 life long friends - you are incredibly blessed - most people don't even have 2.
I know. I don't keep in touch with anyone I went to school with any more, but for some reason I thought this friendship would endure time. The reason I think is we, or perhaps I should say "I" changed. I think I moved forward and my old friend still lives in the past. She even looks the same, wears her hair the same, everything. And she seems jealous of something. The only time I speak with her she has a need to gloat and praise something about herself as in an effort to one-up me.
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Old September 8th, 2007, 08:33 PM
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Re: Did your best friend say or do something that ended your friendship?

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I know. I don't keep in touch with anyone I went to school with any more, but for some reason I thought this friendship would endure time. The reason I think is we, or perhaps I should say "I" changed. I think I moved forward and my old friend still lives in the past. She even looks the same, wears her hair the same, everything. And she seems jealous of something. The only time I speak with her she has a need to gloat and praise something about herself as in an effort to one-up me.
Seems she is jealous you have moved on and she hasn't.
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Old September 8th, 2007, 08:39 PM
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Re: Did your best friend say or do something that ended your friendship?

i had 2 good friends before we moved to louisiana, one i semi keep in touch with, the other i havent spoken to in nearly two years because she changed into a very untrustworthy, uncaring and selfish individual. Right now i really dont have any friends here since we have only been here for like a month and a half, but i dont mind really, ive always been a homebody anyway.
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Old September 8th, 2007, 09:13 PM
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Re: Did your best friend say or do something that ended your friendship?

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Seems she is jealous you have moved on and she hasn't.
This may be true. She still hangs with all the old school chums. She still does the same things she did 30 years ago. Her conversations are always about who and what was then, with old photos and tales. It suffocates me.
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Old September 8th, 2007, 09:14 PM
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Re: Did your best friend say or do something that ended your friendship?

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i had 2 good friends before we moved to louisiana, one i semi keep in touch with, the other i havent spoken to in nearly two years because she changed into a very untrustworthy, uncaring and selfish individual. Right now i really dont have any friends here since we have only been here for like a month and a half, but i dont mind really, ive always been a homebody anyway.
You have us Pandsala
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Old September 8th, 2007, 09:17 PM
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Re: Did your best friend say or do something that ended your friendship?

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This may be true. She still hangs with all the old school chums. She still does the same things she did 30 years ago. Her conversations are always about who and what was then, with old photos and tales. It suffocates me.
'

My Dh has "friends" like this..

DH joined the Navy - finished college - has a great job... His "friends" from HS all hang at the same places, do the same things... he has nothing in common with them any longer...
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Old September 9th, 2007, 02:28 AM
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Re: Did your best friend say or do something that ended your friendship?

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Originally Posted by Beth View Post
I knew someone over 40 years. I thought she was a good friend, but through the years, I realized she wasn't the friend I thought she was. I was deeply hurt and we have never repaired the friendship. We do run into each other or speak on occasion, but it's not the same. I was wondering if anyone else had this experience.
Yep!

Someone I thought was my best friend years ago when we lived some distance away from each other started behaving as DH put it "like my mother!" (HIS M!! and not in a maternal way either! ) when she and her DH moved to the same town as us. She started backstabbing me and stirring things with other mutual friends - though she didn't suceed in breaking up any friendships. I eventually started distancing myself. We stopped all cards and presents to her family, b/c I don't believe in falsities yet for a whole year she still sent them to us - I don't understand why someone who everyone knew didn't like me kept on doing it. There are a lot of covert actions that took place that could never just be confronted on but DH and our mutual friends understood why I no longer wanted to be friends with her.

Her DH was my DH's best friend. I never stopped DH seeing him, just asked him to not discuss my personal life with him. However, everytime DH came home he was getting more and more perplexed about the guy. Both are dad's but whilst DH is now a committed and proud family man his friend was still stuck into boys toys and seemed to still be acting like the teenager. So DH realised that their lives had definately moved in different directions well DH's had moved on at any rate and they had nothing in common anymore.

Last edited by Annsdil; September 9th, 2007 at 02:36 AM.
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Old September 9th, 2007, 07:12 AM
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Re: Did your best friend say or do something that ended your friendship?

I've had a best friend in college who I discovered was talking about me to our other friends behind my back. I kind of put up with it because she was really overweight and I guess I felt sorry for her and didn't care if she was badmouthing me...

However, then she made the bold move of calling my on-again off-again boyfriend of many years. He called me and told me. She was calling him just to "chat". He thought it was weird. There was no threat that he would want to date her, but at that point she was definitely starting trouble. I couldn't be friends with her anymore.

In a way, it's unfortunate. I really liked her and we had a lot of good times, but some people don't know how to be a friend.

On the positive side, I have two long term best friends, one for more than 20 years, the other for 15. I talk to at least one of them almost every day (long distance in both cases). I definitely need my friends!
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