Mother-in-law keeps insulting my race.

[mrfrank82]

My wife’s mother keeps saying mean things about men and women from USA. Basically, she dislikes americans because of what she sees in the media about our racism issues and attitudes during distressing times. I try to convince her that every country has problems like that with locals and people in all shapes and sizes but she just won’t listen. She believes that all americans are gun-loving and racist freaks that do nothing but spread war and hatred. How can I convince her otherwise? I’d love to have a great relationship with her but I don’t see that happening.

[LucyVanPelt]

Originally Posted by mrfrank82

How can I convince her otherwise?

You cannot.

Does your relationship really depend on her opinion of Americans?

[snafu]

oh the irony - she won't see that she's guilty of discrimination herself


what does your wife say?

how often do you HAVE to see your MIL?

[mrfrank82]

Originally Posted by LucyVanPelt

You cannot.

Does your relationship really depend on her opinion of Americans?

It does not but it HEAVILY affects it...

[mrfrank82]

Originally Posted by snafu

oh the irony - she won't see that she's guilty of discrimination herself


what does your wife say?

how often do you HAVE to see your MIL?

My wife just wants me to ignore her mom since she's quite old. We see her all the time, unfortunately...

[snafu]

I don't know the cultural background

IMO your MILs vitrol could damage your marriage....get counciling before that happens

[lilly210]

Originally Posted by mrfrank82

My wife’s mother keeps saying mean things about men and women from USA. Basically, she dislikes americans because of what she sees in the media about our racism issues and attitudes during distressing times. I try to convince her that every country has problems like that with locals and people in all shapes and sizes but she just won’t listen. She believes that all americans are gun-loving and racist freaks that do nothing but spread war and hatred. How can I convince her otherwise? I’d love to have a great relationship with her but I don’t see that happening.

sorry you're doing through this. I doubt you can convince her otherwise. It's difficult to change the minds of others if they're already set in there ways. I can tell you that my husband is of a different ethincity. It was difficult for my Mom is accept him in the beginning. She had some bad encounters with people in his ethnicity before and that was her experience. I know it doesn't mean everyone is that way.
I married my husband for man that he is. Over a period of time, he was able to prove her wrong. She didn't believe in him and didn't think highly of him either. Because he stayed being who he is and helping out and maked effort in his relationship with her. She changed her thoughts about him.
I never told him about what she thought of him and know it wouldn't serve the relationship.
It's hard and I totally understand. I would recommend if you want to give it a shot is to just remember they only know what they know. Eventually without any expectation you might win her over in your own way. Or you might not. But least you can walk away from the situation knowing that you tried and did your best because you're not ignorant.

Wish you the best!

[chissus]

Originally Posted by mrfrank82

My wife’s mother keeps saying mean things about men and women from USA. Basically, she dislikes americans because of what she sees in the media about our racism issues and attitudes during distressing times. I try to convince her that every country has problems like that with locals and people in all shapes and sizes but she just won’t listen. She believes that all americans are gun-loving and racist freaks that do nothing but spread war and hatred. How can I convince her otherwise? I’d love to have a great relationship with her but I don’t see that happening.

Annoy her with kindness and respect.

[KayKay]

Originally Posted by chissus

Annoy her with kindness and respect.

I wish kindness and respect had worked on my MIL.

[snafu]

Didn't work with my PMIL either -