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Old October 16th, 2011, 07:05 PM
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Bank of Snafu

As I've said before I refuse to "float" ex money anymore (due to the fact that I have to ask for it back over a week later and its not been sent - when he's said he'd mail a check as soon as he gets home)

When DS got school picts. the notice was sent home on a Monday night - I would have needed a check no later than Thurs - arriving Friday was not an option - as ex isn't prompt about getting the check in the mail - I didn't bother telling him.

Now DS is selling candy for a fund raiser - he called his dad and I said ex needed to send the check ASAP, DH - who I've told I'm not putting up any $$ for ex, told DS to let ex know that he (DH) would pay & ex could just send him a check.

I wrote a check to cover the candy I wanted - DH hasn't written a check to cover his or ex's -

considering how POed "fronting" money to ex makes me - am I being totally unreasonable to refuse to write the check to cover ex's stuff?

I honestly don't think DH gets it...
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Old October 16th, 2011, 09:25 PM
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Re: Bank of Snafu

Does your DH think you are making your DS the meat in the "Bank of Snafu" sandwich though?

I've found it only pays to have those conversations if you are happy to hear something similar.
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Old October 17th, 2011, 04:18 AM
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Re: Bank of Snafu

Two things--

1) On the surface-- I'd probably just send ex a pic of DS and I'd probably encourage DS to require payment at time of sale. It's good for him to learn this practice himself AND it keeps the issue of candy sales between DS and his DF; you are not in the middle of it.

2)
Quote:
DH - who I've told I'm not putting up any $$ for ex, told DS to let ex know that he (DH) would pay & ex could just send him a check.
This is a symptom of a deeper conflict between you and your current DH.
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Old October 17th, 2011, 04:38 AM
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Re: Bank of Snafu

I didn't buy picts this year - the school had a new company and you had to prepay rather than see the picts, then buy what you want


DS was told by me - to ask his DF for the $; DH thinks that ex won't jerk him around (about paying)


- a little while after I posted I took the joint checkbook to DH along with the order form...DH wrote out the check
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Old October 17th, 2011, 07:42 AM
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Re: Bank of Snafu

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs X View Post
Does your DH think you are making your DS the meat in the "Bank of Snafu" sandwich though?

yeah - I think DH felt that I was putting DS in the middle


but now I'm pizzed/irritated because I don't think ex will send the $ and DH won't follow thru on askeing for it - I need to stop borrowing trouble
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Old October 17th, 2011, 04:04 PM
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Re: Bank of Snafu

Then XH doesn't get the candy.

FWIW, I think your DH did an admirable thing. I understand the problems that you have with ex, but those are grown-up problems and I feel for your DS being put in the middle. (he should've handled the upfront payments from your XH without you... if XH didn't get the money to him in time, DS doesn't submit his order.) I also think your DH is correct that he'll have an easier time getting the $ from XH than you would.

Worst case scenario, XH doesn't pay and you and DH spent more money on fundraiser candy than you would have otherwise. That's not the worst thing in the world. Hmmm. I think I know what your DS should give XH for Christmas.
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Old October 17th, 2011, 04:35 PM
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Re: Bank of Snafu

LOL Kaykay-

as ex was adopted, it was important to me that ex & DS have a good relationship. (and that DS never felt torn between us- due to something I'd done)

Orginally, I had DS get ex presents for his dad - ex would send them back OR give them to my ex ILs - I don't know that ex would eat/keep the candy & I really don't want to pay for a gift that he gives to someone else (hummmm... there are sour gumballs at the store)
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Old October 21st, 2011, 05:34 PM
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Re: Bank of Snafu

when ex picked up DS tonight he said "Oh yeah, I've got to pay for that. I'll bring a check Sunday."




whatever not snafu's problem/issue
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Old October 27th, 2011, 05:23 PM
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Re: Bank of Snafu

mini pseudo update - as far as I know, ex didn't give DS a check to bring back ... DH has said that he needs to call ex himself


whatever

the Bank of Snafu closed, the Bank of Paladin has taken over
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Old October 28th, 2011, 04:20 AM
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Re: Bank of Snafu

Quote:
Originally Posted by snafu View Post

the Bank of Snafu closed, the Bank of Paladin has taken over
Exactly! Just don't bail him out!
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