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Old January 30th, 2015, 11:22 AM
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Exclamation ive upset my boyfriend

hi i think ive ruined my relationship. i have/had this amazing guy who cares for me and has taken my son on too. but this month has been my month from hell.Ive had my granddad almost died on me twice my car has broke down and Ive had to lend money to get a new one and on top of all this we have had to find a house and clear all the rubbish out of the new house to get deposit knocked down as our current landlord has sold the house from under us and given us 2 weeks to move out.yesterday he sends me text saying " come back here as we need to talk". soi come back and he has a bag packed and says he thinks we should go on break. so i say to him why cant we talk about our issues now and resolve them. to which he replies if i stay its going to be over. so i let him go understanding he needs his space but he says ive asked to much of him, i have impossible exceptions for him and im constantly having a go at him and don't appreciate what he does do for me. so after all that he leaves and i ring him that night after work and say to him yes ive been hard on you and not listened to how you are feeling and not been as grateful as i can be and i apologise for it. i have been under alot of stress but that's no excuse.

my side of it is yes i shouldn't of been so hard on him but he can be very lazy and he currently has a job that is when and as needed. so he brings in about 300 pm. so ive been working 30-46 hour weeks to keep us a float as well as deal with a broken car, help my granddad, and find a new house and clean it and move into it. the day he decided he need a break he left me with no one to pick my son up from nursery and look after him while i work a night shift with i do about twice a week.an ive had to ask for help from family and friends as ive had to get up at 6am and had no one to take him nursery either. an today was ment to be our moving date and i now have no help to move. can i have some advice please because he is a good man but i have a gut feeling he isnt coming back and would like to know how i can make it better

risha x
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Old January 30th, 2015, 12:00 PM
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Re: ive upset my boyfriend

I'm so sorry hun, it sounds like it might be over. - Sorry about your son, that WAS irresponsible of him.

((((hugs))))
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Old January 30th, 2015, 12:06 PM
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Re: ive upset my boyfriend

Hi thank you and ive kidda been thinking the same thing just want to know if there is anything i can do to make it better
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Old January 30th, 2015, 12:42 PM
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Re: ive upset my boyfriend

I think you've done all that you can do.

How long have you two been together?
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Old January 30th, 2015, 12:52 PM
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Re: ive upset my boyfriend

6 months I know ow it's not long.
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Old January 30th, 2015, 02:08 PM
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Smile Re: ive upset my boyfriend

Hi Risha, you said "He has a job but can be very lazy", so maybe you have answered your own silent question about this relationship?. It seems you have had some secret doubt about it. To say that means you are confirming your suspisions about lasting. Six months is nothing, you hardly even know the person. They say that in a relationship, if you can make it through 18 months and then past 5 years you are doing well. Sounds like this guy is immature and selfish anyway.

Sounds like hes done you a favour by leaving, you will find someone better, who wont leave in a time of need. It sounds like you have just had a bit of bad luck all at once. Who needs a partner throwing a tanty when we really need them?

Dont worry hes one worry off your list now, you can now focus and move on.

Last edited by Catwoman; January 30th, 2015 at 02:28 PM.
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Old January 30th, 2015, 02:53 PM
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Re: ive upset my boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by risha View Post
i think ive ruined my relationship.
Food for thought rishi - if your boyfriend is going to leave you in your time of need, was it a good relationship to start off with?

He may be a good man, but he doesn't seem to be able to handle problems well.
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Old January 30th, 2015, 06:10 PM
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Re: ive upset my boyfriend

Thank you for all the advice. An it's true I have thought about what sort of person leaves when you need them most an I've also been thinking that if I did let him back I think I would just feel very insure about him leaving again when things get tough In life. Before he left we agreed to meet on Sunday but if I'm honest I don't just want to be that person who says yes, ok I hear you yes I've been wrong when I have my own issues with this situation as well. Like he hasnt spoke to me about this problem before leaving. An how could he leave when I needed him the most. We have a common friend between us who has spoke to him today an they have told me that he just hasn't thought about the situation at all. I just don't know what I'm going to say to him on Sunday. One half wants him to come home but another half of me has just accepted that he won't want to an that it's over between us. X
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Old January 30th, 2015, 06:25 PM
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Re: ive upset my boyfriend

rishi - how old is he? The reason I ask is that guy mature slower than girls, but if he's mid-twenties or older most likely he'll never change.... and his pattern with you, is to let you shoulder all/most of the work.

I have an ex-husband who was great to date, was wonderful when we first married, but.... (there has to be a reason he's an ex, right?) was "Peter Pan" ... didn't want to grow up/act like an adult. You may have another "Peter Pan"


I'm now married to my second husband who has supported me when I extremely was stressed (my mom was hospitalized, then in rehab and the rehab place was a hell hole... that's another thread), he was also very supportive when I worked with a .... ahem/bully.
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