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Other friendships Best friends, ex-friends, or any other friends

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  #11  
Old March 16th, 2018, 01:31 PM
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Re: Am I crazy or does my best friend actually hate me?

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Originally Posted by Abandoned 1 View Post
I know I need I with on me. But I need to work on telling her no. I need to work on doing everything for her. I need to stop spoiling her. After venting, I know I have my own issues that aren't helping the situation....

I just wanted to know if there's a chance she's fallen out of caring about me. Does that make sense?

Oh, I see. Okay. I'm glad that you are aware that your issues aren't helping.

Do I think she has stopped caring about you? No. However, I do think she is mentally and emotionally moving on from you. She hasn't done it yet, but she is doing it.

And statements like "I take all of my emotions and moods out on the one person I am closest to, so sorry, that's you" are manipulative. They are no different from "I have no appetite and am full after 2 bites."

Imagine you live in a cold climate, and you find the absolute perfect winter jacket. You love that jacket, you can't imagine life without that jacket, you wear it everywhere. But as winter starts to fade and there are periods of warmth in the afternoon, the jacket starts being left in your car or slung over an arm. Not that you don't still love the jacket. You just don't need it. By summer, the jacket that you love so much is hanging in the closet and you don't think about it at all.

That's what I think is going on with your friend. It's not that she doesn't care about you. It's just that you aren't as necessary to her as you used to be.
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  #12  
Old March 17th, 2018, 07:03 PM
Abandoned 1 Abandoned 1 is offline
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Re: Am I crazy or does my best friend actually hate me?

If that's the case, that's really heart breaking. As I assume that every person that has abandoned me before was for this very reason. I out live my usefulness to them. If this is the case I think I might just completely shut down from having any close friends. Just people I know.

I know you're right. And honestly it breaks my heart. I think this is part of why I have pretty low self esteem. I'm only good enough to people for a short time.

Now I kinda feel like dying. /Sigh.
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  #13  
Old March 17th, 2018, 08:03 PM
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Re: Am I crazy or does my best friend actually hate me?

No, please don't think that.

It just means that adjusting your expectations will help a lot. Take a break from what you call "close friends" and have not-as-close-as-that friends. It's possible to have friends that you don't "do everything together" with. You said in your first post here
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abandoned1
We have that kind of friendship that most people dream of having. No secrets, enough fun and enough serious. We literally do everything together.
And I thought at the time "I don't dream of that friendship at all!" I don't know too many people who do, especially people with a husband and two kids. I'm an introvert and really value my alone time, plus I have different interests and like having friends from each of those.

Working on your self-esteem, depression, anxiety and insecurities will really, REALLY help.

You said that at one point your friend told you to make friends and you did. Tell me about those friends.
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  #14  
Old March 17th, 2018, 09:02 PM
Abandoned 1 Abandoned 1 is offline
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Re: Am I crazy or does my best friend actually hate me?

Yes, we do everything together. We do have enough alone time too though. I need time to unwind and recharge from any social interaction. I will sometimes just drive to a quiet spot after work and sit alone. Sometimes I will just lay in my room and pretend to be sleeping or 'go to bed.'

I guess our friendship is hard to explain. I just meant the dedication that DID exist on both sides of the friendship was one of those friendships that people dream about. In terms of loyalty and dedication and love. That's not there anymore, not from her anyways. Or at least it doesn't FEEL like it is.

I really don't know anymore. I'm incredibly angry. I'm angry with myself for believing her when she told me that she will always love me and we will always be best friends. We may fight, we may have times where we want to kill each other or can't stand each other, but we will always talk it out and remain best friends because she loves me eternally and unconditionally. She said that. And I believed her. Not the first time I've been told that. I don't know why I always fall for it.

I know people change. I just don't think I have it in me anymore to have friends. I can't take another blow.
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  #15  
Old March 18th, 2018, 10:14 AM
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Re: Am I crazy or does my best friend actually hate me?

I'm currently dealing with depression and anxiety

You've been thru a lot.... Divorce is the death of so many dreams, then you're going thru this

Do you have insurance the covers counciling?
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  #16  
Old March 18th, 2018, 02:04 PM
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Re: Am I crazy or does my best friend actually hate me?

Not currently. My new job doesn't offer insurance. They also pay monthly. So until I get caught up on bills I can't even afford to buy my own insurance.
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